- 6 years ago
- Wedding: Perthshire, Scotland
I’ve had feelings of dread all day and I’m a bit of a mess: I’ve realised the wedding I originally wanted is very different to the one we’ll likely have. FI and I are getting married next summer and sent out save the dates (below) a year in advance because we were so excited and wanted to make sure people could make it. Originally we’d discussed a small intimate day (30 guests maximum), running away to Tuscany, Italy or somewhere similar and renting a house – relaxed and easy. When we realised it was more dream idea than reality (budget) we changed our plan and found our venue approx 2 hours way in Scotland – it’s beautiful. A forest to be married in, courtyard for drinks and barn for a big dance in the evening, with fairy lights. I love our venue.
When we found our venue we transitioned into thinking about a bigger wedding and who would we want there on the day and now we have a day list of 80 guests, most of whom have had save the dates and the ones who haven’t are family. The wedding will cost a fortune, which I thought I was comfortable with (paying most of it ourselves) but I just can’t seem to rationalise spending that much money on one, important, day. Certain things I’m happy to spend money on – the venue, rings, strings, a band, the dress, and food too – but food and drinks for 80 blows our original ideal comfortable budget out the window and I’m having trouble reigning this cost back in. We could afford it but to me £20k on one day (before considering other things like honeymoons) just seems utter madness when I think about the travelling my Fiance and I could do together, and savings, and babies in the next couple of years.
The more I think about it the more I realise I would rather have had some day guests for the evening and only our true nearest and dearest. I’m quite introverted and don’t do well in big groups – an anxious morning like today’s was a reminder of this. I wish we’d kept it more intimate for the ceremony and had a big casual barn dance afterwards and I think it’s too late to change things as I don’t want to be rude to anyone and our save the dates are pretty clear about the day part. Anyway, I just wanted to vent and get it off my chest – I’m sad and wish we could just run off to Italy together.
Fiance and I are discussing options tonight. BFF thinks I should just get married at the venue (we have it for 2 days) with the people I want earlier in the day/day before and just do evening invites despite the STDs. I know no matter what it will be an amazing day and we’ll be surrounded by people we love, which is the main part. I do know the main main part is Fiance and I will be getting married and for this I cannot wait :D! Sorry if the post is a bit haphazard, brain is sore.
I just wondered if anyone had experienced anything similar and wanted to know what you guys think?
– did you change your ceremony and guestlist?
– had save the dates/invites gone out?
– did you have any second thoughts about guest numbers but continue anyway? How did it go?
– how did you rationalise such a huge amount of money on one important day?
– did you spend more than you were comfortable with on the wedding?
– What would you do?