Small Destination Wedding….HELP With Shower and Bachelorette Party Guests

posted 6 months ago in Guests
Post # 2
1072 posts
Bumble bee

I personally would be more inclined to attend a bachelorette party for a wedding I wasn’t invited to than a shower. I don’t find it appropriate to invite someone to give a gift for a party they aren’t invited to.

Post # 3
3028 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

fayth :  No, anyone invited to the shower should also be invited to the wedding. A destination wedding doesn’t change that – it’s just one of those things you “sacrifice” when you chose a small wedding. 

Post # 4
1501 posts
Bumble bee

No, it’s not cool. You are choosing to have a smaller wedding far away, and one of the things you lose is pre wedding parties with people not invited to the wedding. If people at work choose to throw you a shower knowing they aren’t invited, that’s the one exception I’ve seen. That happened to me, and it was a surprise shower, so there wasn’t much I could do but write really really nice thank you cards.

Post # 5
1696 posts
Bumble bee

No one who is not invited to your wedding should be invited to a pre-wedding celebration. Period.

Post # 6
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Agree with PP’s. I was just invited to a shower where I was not invited to their destination wedding. Came off as gift-grabby to me. 


Post # 7
6615 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2050

fayth :  The only people saying it’s ok are people who already made this mistake themselves and will feel less embarrassed if they can convince others to do the same thing. Inviting someone to a shower but not the wedding is saying “you’re not important enough to be at the wedding but you’re totally welcome to come adore me and bring me a present beforehand.” Don’t do it. A toaster is not worth your dignity.

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