(Closed) Small, intimate ceremony & a large reception?

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Should I have a small ceremony with a large reception?
    Yes-it's your day...do what you want. : (26 votes)
    68 %
    No-too many people will be offended. : (11 votes)
    29 %
    Other-explain below. : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2708 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Having a truely intimate ceremony with a larger reception later is perfectly fine!  But you shouldn’t have more than say, 20 people at the ceremony.  Any more than that and it starts getting iffy and the people being excluded are going to feel second rate.  Most people are cool with a tiny, family-only ceremony and a large reception.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee

    It’s fine if you want to do this, but you don’t want to send all your reception guests an invitation that tells them “we’re having a small ceremony but you can’t come.”  Just do an invitation that only mentions the reception, and then if you want you can make a smaller set of invitations for the ceremony that you include with just the family members who are invited to both.

    Post # 7
    Member
    853 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    We did this – we had a wedding reception at City Hall with just family on a Thursday afternoon. Friday night was our reception with all our friends and family. No complaints.

    But I think having the buffer of a day in between events really helped. It really was two separate events for us. If you do them back to back, that might get touchier.

    Post # 10
    Member
    10453 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    If I was a guest I would not be offended one bit if I was not invited to the ceremony. The part people care about as guests is the reception, because it’s fun. I don’t think the ceremony really means much to anyone besides the couple and maybe their close families. So go ahead, do what you want!

    Post # 11
    Member
    6124 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @BakerBee16:  Etiquettely speaking it is fine to have a truly intimate ceremony (like immediate family only, although no actual # has been set, 20 gets mentioned often) then have a big reception. 

    My first question:

    Would this reception be on the same day of your actual wedding day?

    Or would you take the small ceremony guests to dinner, then have a “celebration” party later on (not not really a reception, the dinner is the reception but you’d be having a celebration party)?

    I think with all scenarious, even the best thought out ones, someone will always be offended most likely.  It’s best to make sure you do things you want rather than please everyone. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    2708 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @BakerBee16:  That sounds like a perfect number.  PP had the right idea of sending 2 separate invites: ones that included the ceremony for those that are invited and ones for reception only.  Definitely don’t mention that certain people are not invited to the ceremony.  If people get confused call and ask about the ceremony, you can just tell them that it’s small and just family.  Spreading it via word of mouth is a good idea too!

    Post # 14
    Member
    6124 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @BakerBee16:  I’d say you can show up in your Casablanca or the reception dress.  Actually I find the reception dress more appropriate for some reason in this case.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3830 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I wanted this, my mom kiboshed it immediately saying too many people will be offended they couldn’t be there to see me married. 

    Its your day though. Honestly i would just do an intimite wedding completely if thats what you really want. 

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