(Closed) small rant – you WANTED a baby, why are you complaining

posted 7 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

The early stages of pregnancy are really hard, and hormones are a witch. There are definately people that do not enjoy being pregnant at all. I am sure once the baby is here she will be madly in love and that is all you will ever hear about again:)

Post # 4
Member
9674 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

pregnancy is a time when there is a whole bunch of hormones, it is uncomfortable, etc. I have never been pregnant myself but one of my friends has two children. I am sure she still wants the baby just remember that pregnancy is not that crash hot and is difficult for her so maybe show some understanding, she is probably waiting for the time when she can give birth to have pregnancy over with!

Post # 5
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Hormones really are a nasty, nasty thing.  I really wanted a baby too and was so excited when we got our BFP… but that feeling quickly went away.  I didn’t have any morning sickness but I had a lot of very painful cramping for the first 8 weeks and it made me miserable.  I was irritable all the time and constantly wondering why the hell I ever wanted to be pregnant.  Then I started thinking about all the things I couldn’t do and it made me think I wasn’t ready for a child yet, which made me grumpy with Darling Husband that we were now having a baby.  I too talked a lot about leaving the baby with grandma and grandpa so we can go on holidays without kids; I also bemoaned all the things that were going to change in our lives – no more relaxing evenings with a bottle of wine, no more weekly dinners out, no more last minute weekend trips etc.   In short, I was not a happy pregnant woman. 

Then, the first trimester passed and things started evening out.  I am now 17 weeks and I feel a thousand times better, I’m starting to get a tiny bit of a bump, and all of a sudden, it’s actually hit me that I’m having a baby and I couldn’t be more excited.  I still have days when I’m ambivalent about it and not enjoying myself, but the happy days far outnumber the unhappy days.  

I think it’s different for every woman but pregnancy is a very, very trying time as we deal with a lot of physical changes (a lot of them rather unpleasant at the beginning) and HUGE emotional changes, compounded by massive influxes of hormones.   I would just take her complaints with a grain of salt right now, although I do understand that it can be quite grating to have to listen to her complaints all day.  

ETA:  I don’t make these complaints known to anyone other than my Darling Husband and sister.  I’m currently a Stay-At-Home Wife so work isn’t an issue, but any time anyone else asks me if I’m excited, I always play up the positives and don’t really mention the negatives, at least not the way I listed them out here.  We all handle things differently though.

Post # 6
Member
2547 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t know whats normal. Everyones hormones are different, and everyone reacts differently. Also, pregnancy can be very tiring, painful and downright uncomfortable. I’m sure if she wanted the baby as much as you say, once the baby is here she’ll love him/her.

Post # 7
Member
4476 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Her hormones might be going so crazy she might be struggling with depression.  She might not feel well, too. 

Post # 8
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I hate being pregnant hahaha, I pretend to be excited but I know penty of people who can’t muster up the energy. I can totally understand why it’s annoying, but you kind of have to cut her a break… it will bring you good karma! Besides, consider how uncomfortable she must be to go from so baby crazy to absolutely miserable.

Post # 9
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

OH I was the most miserable pregnant chick EVER!

I was a young momma with my first and the pregnancy was unplanned, so a bit different. But I CAN tell you that my hormones were insane! I didn’t know myself or my body anymore. I wept, I couldn’t eat ANYTHING, I still to this day cannot stand:

*Cinnamon Candy

*Welch’s Grape Juice

*Deep fried cheddar broccoli bites

*Aquafresh toothpaste

*Hardboiled eggs (unless masked in a mac/potato salad or deviled)

*My old ham sammich fave (lettuce, mayo, pickle chopped & mixed then spread over hot ham & swiss on toasted bread)

*Barq’s Root Beer

It even got so bad that I couldn’t drink bottled water… yep, that made me sick too.

The first trimester was HORRIBLE for me. I mean, I felt like I was going to die.

So, I get her 🙂 And I love my son more than anything now that I’m not pregnant.

Did I mention that I JUST got the baby bug back and my little guy will be 8 in August? LOL Finally brave enough to try again… wish me luck if I get a BFP anytime soon!

Post # 10
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m 20 weeks today and feeling fairly good so I am talking baby talk a lot lately, but I do actually try to minimise it around people who don’t want to hear it so much. The OP is probably just fed up of listening to it all day every day!

Post # 11
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I hate being pregnant – I was so excited during TTC and the first few weeks. Now I hate it and am probably struggling with antepartum depression. They say your odds increase of having antepartum depression if you had troubles conceiving, so maybe that’s it?

On the other hand, I don’t talk about it at work – the only time coworkers hear me talk about being pregnant is if they ask. And then I say “yes, we’re so excited.” Ugh.

Maybe next time, you could say “it sounds like you’re having a tough time. Let me know if you need to talk.” Or, she could just be being a bitch. Hard to tell!

Post # 12
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

she might also be feeling negative as a defense mechanism as if she is afraid that something is going to happen (if she was talking about IVF she might have had trouble conceiving or may have even miscarried at some point)

Post # 13
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Because of the IVF as well you don’t know what her fertility issues were.

I had multiple miscarriages before getting a pregnancy to stick. Being pregnant for me has been awful. I’ve lost 20lbs getting sick every day. I wanted to be pregnant more than anyone else. Having gone through the heart ache of losses and then not being able to get pregnant though, made me detach a little bit from my pregnancy.

So when people would ask if I was excited, I would say yes because that’s what they expected me to say, but really I wasn’t. I was scared and just waiting for a bomb to drop. 

At almost half way I’m starting to finally feel really excited, however, it’s because I can feel the baby every day moving, which helps to keep most of the evil thoughts out of my head.

Post # 14
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Jd64848704: *Aquafresh toothpaste

That one’s my favorite hahaha… poor thing.

 

Post # 15
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Some people just need attention or to feel that people are paying attention to them. She sounds like one of those. There is a lady in my office who announces her business really loudly, intentionally talks so loud that everyone can hear her. I don’t know what her reasons are, but it sure can be annoying!

Post # 16
Member
1189 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I wanted this baby in the WORST way, and then felt super guilty the first 4 months when I was so sick I couldn’t be as happy as I wanted to be about it. The first trimester is really hard for some people and I’d never experienced being so sick before for such a long period of time. Literally no food ever sounded good and all I did was throw up and feel awful. She’ll get excited once she starts to feel better and once the baby gets closer to arriving. Try not to judge–pregnancy hormones and body changes are really difficult for a lot of us!

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