(Closed) Small Secret-ish Ceremony…Rude?

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

This wedding sounds like it’s more suited to you than a lot of weddings are suited to other brides. I am 100% behind this idea and I think it’s great!!!! I considered doing something like this for my own wedding, but only changed my mind because I want my grandpa to perform the ceremony and he wouldn’t be able to make it up there. Do it!

Post # 4
4676 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Sounds fun…!  I might include something about recieving the bride and groom at the reception hall in order that most of your guests don’t think you are being rude about being so cryptic. Or just extending invites to the ceremony to certin people… (not as fun though..)   I’ve seen weddings do this and although your guests might be a little put off for a second they will get over it very quickly! 

Post # 5
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think it is a cool idea but just make sure you are ok with those people not being able to make it to the ceremony!

Post # 7
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think I would be worried thinking about my poor mother/sister/aunt stuck in a swamp somewhere if she didnt turn up..?

Its a cute idea, but I dont know about putting friends and family in danger.

Post # 8
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think it’s great! You should become husband and wife exactly where you want . As long as you are ok with some people not making it because if that then I say go for it. The reception can be their time to celebrate with you!

Post # 9
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

In theory, it’s a cool idea. Then I think about people like your grandparents and other older relatives, or even younger ones who just aren’t as fit or have asthma and can’t handle all that, basically being not allowed to attend the ceremony. Oh, and everyone (including you and your groom) being a sweaty dirty mess. Then it’s not so cool.

I think that if one of my family members did this I wouldn’t be happy about it – it feels like a very inconsiderate thing for the person hosting the wedding to do, purposely making it so hard to attend. I do have asthma, so if I physically had to stop and was unable to make it, I’d be very disappointed and really not in the mood to party – I’d be upset that I came for your wedding and had to miss it, like I’m being punished for not being as fit and active as you and your Fiance. I know that’s not your intent, which is why I thought I’d share my other point of view on this.

Post # 11
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You could also always get one of your fit friends/family to video the ceremony and play it at the reception.  I went to a wedding where they did a destination ceremony with just the bride and groom and then did the reception back home.  They showed the video at the reception, and it was lovely.  We all were able to see the ceremony, even though we couldn’t be there; best of both worlds.

Post # 12
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I like it. I would make sure it’s safe though! lol. A little tricky maybe but you don’t want to put people you WANT to be there in danger 😉 I would make the clues a little harder and maybe be sure people I HAD to be there, mom, etc knew how to get there for sure. 

On another note: I wish I had this idea first! hehe. Love the private-ness of it all. 

Post # 13
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I did not read a lot of the PP so forgive me if this has been said,

but how about sending ceremony invites to the people you want there,
and send a reception invite seperately.  that says something along the lines of “please join so and so, in a celebration of thier marrage, and then have some one record the wedding and play it at the reception? That way those that Cannot make it feel included?

Post # 14
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Hubs and I did something similar. I love weddings but the idea of having that many eyes on e just scares the crap out of me. Also with my parents wanting to invite their business associates and the large number of extended relatives, it was turning into a circus. I always wanted a small intimate wedding so Hubs and I got married ocean bluffs with only our wedding party and immediate family in attendance and then invited everyone to party it up with us that night at the reception. We hosted the traditional Chinese banquet. That’s actually a pretty common tradition in Chinese/Taiwanese cultures where family and friends are invited to only the reception; the wedding ceremony itself was downplayed and the emphasis was on the food and drinking!

Post # 16
2808 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@imalittlebirdie: I second this idea. Sending separate invitation to ceremony and reception is a great idea. The faux pas is usually that anyone invited to the ceremony should be invited to the reception (reason being that you don’t want them to feel as though they are goo enough to get you a gift, but not important enough for you to feed them later), but you are doing the opposite which is totally fine!

Separate invitations are the way to go. People are understanding when it comes to private ceremonies…they just want to be invited to the party Laughing

Also, maybe rent a nice park or something? You can still be outdoorsy and have it be accessible to your older realtives who might have a difficult time navigating rough terrain.

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