(Closed) Small vent – help me regain sanity

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Have you got the waiting cray-cray right now?

    I have the CRAY-CRAY: I superglued a picture of the ring I wanted to my SO's forehead.

    I have the cray: I only think about getting engaged maybe, like, once or fifty times a day.

    Just the cr: It's under control for me right now - phew!

    I'm not waiting, but lurking on the waiting boards makes me feel saner. Or something.

    I am a banana. Also, OP should go get some sleep.


  • Post # 3
    185 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    You’re right!  It isn’t a competition.   Honestly, I have to remind myself that 100 times a day as i feel like i’m competing with my best friend to get engaged first.    Its about you and your SO and not about who gets engaged or married first!  

    I find that taking a deep breath and focusing on my relationship helps a lot. 

    As does wine

    Post # 4
    293 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I don’t think it’s healty to think of it as a competition, but I think it’s 100% normal to compare your situation to others.  Don’t feel silly!

    I second the wine, or any other alcoholic beverage!  And while you are having a drink, toast to your recently engaged friends happiness (karma!!!!).

    Good Luck!

    Post # 5
    839 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I third the wine! It helps… a lot 🙂

    Post # 6
    1022 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I also agree with the wine comments! I have to keep telling myself to enjoy my SO because he is so very wonderful and I love him to death. That doesn’t mean I don’t get frustrated that only 2 days after we had another conversation about the engagement, he told me he was thinking about buying a motorcycle. I squashed that one real quick. I’m also trying to find a few more hobbies to keep myself distracted! 

    Post # 7
    225 posts
    Helper bee

    Does the “I am a banana” option mean that “I am a man?” lol…i guess i would not choose that one but please don’t lose sleep over this. This is a normal feeling. 

    I have felt this way about other friends’ engagements – I think a lot of us have been there.  It feels bad in the “Why not me?” way but I don’t think it is because it is a competition. You just aren’t where you would like to be right now. It’s ok to recognize this and comfort yourself that this is a natural feeling. Then take a step back and think about how awesome your man is or whatever else is good in your life – it isn’t so bad is it? In fact, I’ll bet there are lots of things that you can point out that are pretty darn awesome.  Your time will come too!:)

    Post # 9
    1298 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I think about it a lot but I’m at a good place where I don’t TALK about it at all, which is where I want to be. I’ve told myself I can’t bring it up myself again until October. I know it can’t happen this year so I don’t want to make things crazier.

    You know what’s weird… is KNOWING that it isn’t happening this calendar year has made me WAYYY less crazy.


    I’m still crazy though.

    Post # 10
    6 posts

    No worries, everything will come in due time 🙂

    I’ve got the slight feeling that, in the US, people might get into engagement and wedding a wee bit sooner than here in Europe. From what I read on the boards, Bees tend to first be dating for an average of 2 to 5 years before taking a step further towards marital life.

    I would say that in my circle of friends (Mostly in France where I am from (PS: sorry for my language mistakes by the way ^^)), people would rather be together for over 8 years before really getting into engagement and wedding-planning (keep in mind that these guys met mostly at high-School so years add up quite quickly when doing a grad/post-grad degree).

    I hope it’s not gonna be our case as, even after 3 years including a break, I am already looking forward to formalising our relationship a bit more ^^ Talking about my “boy-friend” as I am nearing 26 sounds a tiny bit odd, especially since the French equivalent of the word is a very teenaged appelation. I won’t be finishing grad-school until another 3 years (sigh….),which will take me to the verge of my 30s and…. aieaieiaie ^^ I think I should get myself ready for a looooong wait! 😀

    A little unfortunate, we kind of already “agreed” that I won’t be getting an e-ring nor a wedding band. My partner only sees them as a waste of money…

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