(Closed) small wedding = awkward?

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
8361 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I think that happens at most weddings anyways. Friends tend to stick to freinds, family to family aside from those few people like me who will talk/dance to/with anyone and everyone.

How many guests are we talking?

Post # 4
Member
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I was worried this would happen at my small wedding (27 people including us) but I remember during dinner looking around and excitedly telling my Darling Husband that everyone was talking to everyone else. I had thought to put conversation starter cards on tables but forgot. Don’t stress! You will be so happy on your wedding day you probably won’t notice or care if groups are happening, everyone will have a great time 

Post # 5
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Honestly, I wouldn’t worry much about it.  Everyone is going to be at your wedding to see the two of you become one, and that alone will peak their interest if they have not met prior. Don’t sweat it or at least try not to! Our wedding is small 20 or so people while it’s mostly family from both sides… I never once thought about the conflict of them not talking, lol. 

Post # 6
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

OPur wedding had 30 guests and everyone talked to everyone else. Remember, the female guests will have already met at least once before for your bridal shower, and those who attend your bachelorette will have already met twice. And many of the male guests will have met ahead of time at the bachelor party. those pre-wedding events definitely help get people acquainted. Add in a little alcohol to grease the skids, and things will go just fine. i think the hardest part for us was the seating plan. Everyone sat with us at one very long table, so it took probably 5 versions of the seating plan to get things right. We needed to make sure that good friends sat near eachother, some of our more outrageous friends were sitting far enough away from some of our more conservative folks so as to avoid conflict, etc. In the end it was so worth the effort. being able to look out and see everyone laughing and chatting was such an amazing feeling. And quite a few new FB and real life friendships were formed through the wedding process.

Post # 7
Member
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

We are having 50 guests and Fiance and I have been together for 4 years (5 when the wedding happens) and since our fam lives altogether in our hometown, they have seen each other and spent time together, actually they already knew each other before we even knew each other! I would maybe suggest trying to do more family get togethers, doesn’t matter if it’s a backyard bbq or dinner at a restaurant just try to get them together to make each other feel more comfortable around each other. You and FI’s fam don’t live far away from each other or you guys do they?

Post # 9
Member
389 posts
Helper bee

People love two things — music and food.  So have a great DJ, some native folk dancing if applies and a good variety of music.

You could have your sit-down dinner “banquet italian style” whereby you have long tables and everyone sits together and “passes” food to each other.  This is a popular trend at most smaller weddings today to give the guests a chance to mingle and talk about the food.  Passing food to your right and to your left and making contact with others is fun.  Do keep wine flowing (a different one for each course) and an open bar throughout the night.  

Have a nice menu card made up and that’s a great ice breaker as people like to talk about food and have small framed photos of different shots of you  and your guests scattered through out the tables so that people could see you both in different situations and talk about that.  

You should definitely have some kind of dancing, a nice dessert table so that guests could go up and serve themselves, and again, talk about the nice desserts.  Party favors like novelty hats, wedding horns, and neon jewelry that glow in the dark is fun while dancing and makes for great photos.  You could also have a couple of polaroids so that your guests could take photos of each other and take one home with them – a nice way of getting new people to meet each other.  Don’t worry, it will be fine and your folks, no matter where they are from, want to be there and enjoy you and your Fiance and party.

Post # 10
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You are totally worrying too much. 🙂 We had a wedding with 55 guests, all from different parts of our lives. It was great! Everyone mingled, talked to everyone else. There were a few wallflowers who mainly stuck to the people they knew, but that was fine too. Everyone’s adults; presumably they know how to handle a cocktail party where they don’t know everyone. This is no different. I actually don’t think you need any conversation-starters or anything like that.

ETA: Oh, and having it in a small space is great. That way it doesn’t feel all empty and echo-y. It puts people in easy proximity and makes it easier to mingle. We didn’t have a sit-down dinner, so that facilitated mingling too.

Post # 11
Member
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

One thing I saw on a wedding blog was having one small cake on each table instead of having a big wedding cake. Each table was named the kind of cake they had (‘red velvet’, ‘double chocolate’, etc), and during dessert, the DJ encouraged people to get up and have a slice of cake from another table. That could start some anti-clique conversations!

Post # 12
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think this actually happens more frequently at larger weddings. No worries, it will be a wonderful, intimate wedding.

Post # 12
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

lovekiss:  That would only apply if you have someone to throw you a bridal shower or bachelorette party.  Not all of us have someone who can throw those for us. 

Post # 13
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Hawksnest Cove Beach St John USVI

PrincessPiggy:  we had 12 guests but they stayed in the same resort and got there a few days early. We arranged a get together meal first which helped and DHs friend instantly connected with my family and already knew his family. He worked really hard to get them together and talk even when we were busy doing other things. It really went a long way!!!!

Post # 14
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee

PrincessPiggy:  we are having something similar to you.

FI’s family speaks English as their second/third language.

I speak English and their second language.

Luckily for us, we have a lot of bilingual/trilingual friends. The ones who only speak one language should be able to have a good time considering the majority of everyone will speak 2 languages. We have some very embarrassing friends and we also have some extremely opinionated and conservative friends, but honestly I’m planning on putting the conservative people together and the outrageous people together.

Everyone else will fit in somewhere between.

Don’t stress about it too much. You might be surprised at who will mingle with who. You can’t change people and weddings almost always end up being clique-y anyways.

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 15
Member
1430 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Our wedding is going to be small, probably only 50 people or so and I’m actually not too worried about people not speaking to each other. My family has never met FI’s family since we are from two different countries, and since our wedding is in our hometown I’m sure FI’s family will be asking my family all about restaraunts and things to do while they are there, if nothing else.

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