(Closed) Small wedding – Big wedding party?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I am having the same problem. We are having apx. 100 people and FH wants 7 GM’s/BM’s and 6 ushers, thats 20%!!! We have since scaled back. I say do what you want but I would think its weird, but thats b/c I didnt like it for my own wedding.

Post # 5
Member
581 posts
Busy bee

If you want to cut the number down because of cost issues, then do it.  Otherwise, enjoy having close friends up with you as you get married.  I can’t imagine why any guests would think it odd.  Personally, I’d think you had some very good friends!  Best wishes.

Post # 6
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

It does seem a little lopsided, but what can you do?  You’ve already asked them, right?  I don’t think you can unask them.   Have they already put money into it, ordering dresses, etc.?

It will be fine, though.  It’s not one of those issues to really waste your brain energy on.

Post # 7
Member
5762 posts
Bee Keeper

I really don’t think it matters at all. Its the same thing if you have a huge number of guests and only 2 attendents. It really makes no difference and I don’t think anyone would think anything of it either.

Post # 8
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I see the dilemma. Your right it would be hard to ask the people you’ve had for months to step down. I think the only way it could really work is if you dropped it down to either none or just a Bridesmaid or Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor. You could explain to the others the situation which in this case I think they would/should understand.If you can afford to keep them and you want them, then there’s nothing wrong with it b/c thats what you want and its your day 🙂 

Post # 9
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

There really is minimal additional cost to you to have the larger wedding party (it’s just their flowers, which you can do  for inexpensive depending on what flowers you choose).  Plus, you can’t really unask them.  I think it will be fine!  And if anyone were to question you on it (which I’m sure they wouldn’t, but sometimes people do some silly things), you could just tell them what you told us – That you initially were planning a larger event and asked all of them to stand up with you before you untimately decided that a smaller, more intimate event woudl better suit your needs/wants.

Post # 10
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I had the same problem!  I was having major anxiety over it, seriously contemplating un-asking EVERYONE! And then a friend offered up a wedding-saving idea: We are going to have everyone walk down the aisle still, but SIT.  They are still honored and a part of the wedding, and have seats reserved in the front row(s), but only the MOHs stand.  Then it’s no hurt feelings but it’s a more intimate-feeling ceremony so my anxiety is eased.

Post # 11
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I’m going to have around 100 people with 7 on each side (14 total). I agonized over this for awhile but you know what… whatever! My plan is to only get married once and i love, love, love the people in my wedding party. Plus.. more help! 

 

 

Post # 12
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think it’s fine. I’d imagine you’ve already ordered dresses for them etc. so it might be kind of hard to limit it now. Plus most people at your wedding will understand why you had a smaller event rather than the larger one you were planning. It does seem kind of big but you can do whatever you want – it’s your wedding.

Post # 13
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think 5 guests on either side is perfectly fine. We’re having 150 guests, and 6 (me) 7 (him). I’ve been in Tennessee a year, and I’ve learned its completely normal to have 10+ bridesmaids. It’ll never cease to shock me!

Post # 14
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

We are in the same boat. 120 people and 9 on each side. I agonize over the fact that 25% of the people that will attend will be standing for awhile. What I decided to do was have everyone walk in and then once I enter and my hubby to me takes my hand from my dad, my bridal party will be seated and only the Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man will remain standing, just like they do in the churches (we are not getting married in the church). I was much happier knowing Id still have the people I wanted, without feeling ridiculous for so many ppl standing.

 

Post # 15
Member
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Personally, I think it’s fine but I guess I am biased because I am having a large wedding party myself! We are having 200 guests and I have 9 on my side and 7 on FI’s.  Honestly I couldn’t imagine cutting out the people who I have chosen to be in my wedding, and I chose each of them for different and special reasons. 

I got a few reactions from my family when I told them we were having a large wedding party, but hey I’m only getting married once, and I want my close friends and sister to be there to share in it all with me!

It’s you and your FI’s day, you do whatever you want 🙂

Btw, like Kittycook, our attendants will all be seated during the ceremony (except during the standing portions of the Mass) except for the times when the Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man have things they need to do.

Post # 16
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

lol @Kittycook I didn’t even realize you said the exact same thing.

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