Small Wedding – Do I need to offer plus ones?

posted 4 weeks ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
8478 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

simplebride2019 :  I don’t understand the concept of “this person is so important that I want them at my wedding, but not important enough to invite their SO.” I’m a firm believer in plus ones.

Post # 3
Member
46882 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

A good host makes decisions based on what is best for their guests. Never having met an SO is not a reason to exclude them. Put yourself in their position. You know you would have a better time if your SO were included.

Post # 4
Member
2400 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Yes, you need to include people’s signficant others. Plus ones are dates for truly single guests and that is at your discretion to give out.

I understand that you are having a small wedding but keep this in mind, your guest list is pretty much on par with most rehearsal dinners. In which guest’s significant others should always be invited, even though it’s a smaller group than a standard wedding reception.

Post # 5
Member
1412 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Why can’t you just ask them? If it’s just a few people and they are your close friends. Just be like, “Would you want to bring so in so with you to the wedding?” DO NOT say it in a negative, “I don’t really want you to” way. Get their honest opinion and then be like, Okay, but if the venue has guest restrictions would you come if I can’t invite so in so?

 

Post # 6
Member
5499 posts
Bee Keeper

When you are inviting people to celebrate your relationship it’s not a good idea to judge theirs. It’s not a “plus one” when someone is in a long-term relationship–you are inviting a social unit. The term “plus one” refers to inviting a single person with an unnamed guest. 

Post # 7
Member
3601 posts
Sugar bee

Your guests and good manners should not be disregarded just because you made a choice to have a smaller wedding and not invite some of your family.  They should have been factored into the plans from the get-go.

Post # 8
Member
6229 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

I had a small wedding (28 people total) and we invited everyone with their partners. We only had 2 truly single guests and we gave them +1s. We wanted all our guests to have a good time and be comfortable. 

Post # 10
Member
5499 posts
Bee Keeper

simplebride2019 :  It is straight up rude to invite a friend without his/her long-term partner. Period. If you have made your own non negotiable rule then another option is that you can make the effort to meet these people before your wedding. 

Post # 11
Member
947 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

simplebride2019 :  this is soo rude , I would just skip having a wedding and elope. The fact you say it’s non negotiable makes me cringe. Do yourself a favor and don’t have a wedding. If you don’t put you’re guest first you’re better off just eloping and not hurting anyone’s feelings. 

Post # 12
Member
46882 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

“having people we do not know there is non negotiable for us”

That is bizarre thinking to me. What if your parents were divorced and your Mom lived across the country and had a partner you had not met? Would you exclude your Mom from your wedding because you haven’t met her partner? tell her “Mom, you can come, but your partner, the man who is making you happy , is not welcome.”

Or, would you exclude your Mom because you didn’t want to invite her partner?

Post # 13
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee

simplebride2019 :  If your friends are important to you, the people they care about and are in long term relationships with should be invited.  If your friends are important to you, the fact that three would have SOs they would like to bring with them shouldn’t mean they’re excluded from your special day. 

Post # 15
Member
269 posts
Helper bee

The day is no longer only about you once you choose to invite anyone else. When you invite others you then become the host of a social event with the responsibility to put the comfort and enjoyment of your guests first. This means inviting their SO’s. If you don’t want to have SO’s there that you haven’t met, then make the effort to meet them ahead of time. If you don’t want to do that, then it would be best to stick with only inviting family and their SO’s than to treat your friends rudely.

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