- Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA
When someone does not invite a friend’s significant other to a wedding, it’s like: “come celebrate my love and my relationship while I disregard yours”.
I would either invite them and their partners, or not invite any friends at all.
You deserve to feel good on your wedding day. Well, as a host you want your guests to feel good too, right? Your wedding is not just about you once you have guests. Your friends deserve to feel good too as guests, and having their partners with them would do the trick. However, if inviting their significant others would make you two feel bad, then you shouldn’t invite neither the partners nor the friends.
I understand financial restrictions. If that’s the main reason, don’t invite the friends. If it’s more about your feelings than the money, I got to tell you this: I think you might be overestimating how those guests would impact your wedding as the introverts you two are… The guests will care about you for the 5 minutes you guys talk, then maybe for the classic moments if you’re having them (cake cutting, first dance, bouquet toss, etc). Other than that, they will focus on their significant others and mutual friends.
We had a small, budget-constricted wedding. We had 23 guests (that includes our guests’ partners). I didn’t know 3 of my husband’s guests. He didn’t know 2 of mine. I myself didn’t know one of MY guests – my dear professor’s partner (but it never crossed my mind not inviting him). It still felt amazing having everyone there.
The dynamics went like this:
1- husband and I shared some time together;
2- husband and I briefly said “hi, so glad you came, how are things?” to all guests (maybe 5% of our time);
3- step 1 again;
4- I talked to my family and friends and he tasked to his family and friends;
5- a bit of mingling – both of us separately or jointly talked to guests from both sides;
6- step 1 again.
Rinse and repeat steps 1, 4, and 5.