(Closed) Small Wedding Guestlist, and how to annouce to the rest you are not invited BUT.

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would really really strongly advise against doing this. Especially the FB group…PLEASE don’t make it a FB group. Especially if these are older family members we’re talking about here, you may not be close but I’m sure you still don’t want to offend them. What if they surprise you and a whole bunch want to come? Then you’ll have to go back and tell some or all of those people that you’re sorry you asked if they wanted to come, but you can’t invite them after all. Which would be pretty awful. I think you’re better off just inviting the close family members you really want there.

Post # 5
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Why do you feel the need to announce it at all? If they are going to be that offended about it, it’ll go to them through the grapevine or they’ll just ask.

If you’re that worried about their ire at not getting an invitation, don’t you think giving them some impersonal facebook announcement or some such thing is going to piss them off more? They seem like the type to take a personal answer on the phone better than some generic ‘by the way we can’t afford you’ announcement. 

Post # 6
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Just send formal ceremony invitations to the 25 people that are currently invited to the first part of your wedding.

Send out Save the Dates for the be-lated reception after the wedding fore everyone to attend. So you will need to set a date and book a place to hold the belated reception party in the summer, and send out the Save The Dates, which you are actually using as your inviation to all of your family to attend the belated receptiont to celebrate your wedding that happened a few months prior.


Post # 7
1185 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@mishagirls79:  This.

To the OP:  DO NOT DO ANYTHING YOU MENTIONED!  Except host a second reception in the summer.  Do that.  And invite people to it well in advance.  Those invitations would read:  Kalessi and Jim were married on March 9, 2013 in a private ceremony.  Please join them at a reception in their honor at PLACE, DATE, TIME.”  You would send those out the day after your wedding at the earliest. 

If you want to do to STD to the at home reception, you could say something like “Please save the date to celebrate with the newlyweds!  Kalessi and Jim.  DATE, PLACE.  Invitation to follow.”

Post # 12
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013


@Khalessi3:  I’m having a small wedding as well 30 people.  My Fiance family is huge, mine is alot smaller, and we decided for financial and sanity reasons we want to limit the number of guest.  So we are sending out formal invitations to the 30 carefully selected guests ( i only say carefully because , if you only knew the families) lol  then we are planning a  big reception after words, after the wedding after the honeymoon when we come back and are ready to deal with everyone at once.  But i sure wouldn’t put it out there on FB or any other social media network,  I would just invite who you truly want to be there, you dont want to be surrounded by 100 people you really dont see or talk to on a normal base anyway 🙂  Anyways good luck let me know how it turns out!

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