(Closed) Small Wedding: How do I not offend everybody?

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

We just invited who we wanted and said nothing to the people we didnt.

People understand that there are limited numbers… and we made sure both sets of parents disseminated that message among their siblings and cousins.


Edit – and our list was 65 in the end.   And we invited some cousins but not their siblings, or some aunty/uncles but not their children.  etc

Post # 4
12246 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

We have HUGE families (14 aunts/uncles on my side, 16 on his), so we sent out a letter saying “Hey, we’re only having godparents/grandparents/parents/siblings and friends” We got a LOT of positive response! Only one aunt was angry, and she said “I don’t like Sam as much as her sister, anyway!” So we were glad NOT to invite her!

Post # 5
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

We just invited our immediate family and our grandparents (well, mine, both sets of my husband’s grandparents have passed away; my grandma and grandpa on my dad’s side were unable to attend due to my grandpa’s health not being in good shape for travel with Parkinson’s Disease) and we have no regrets. No one has said anything about being offended, I don’t sense that they are either.

I think you’d run into issues with offending people if you invite some cousins but not all. I had that issue with my extended family and only wanting to invite a few cousins but not others (and not willing to budge on inviting the ones I didn’t want to invite) and also not inviting some of my aunts which is why we kept it so small. Honestly, my advice if you don’t want to offend is to invite all of your cousins or none of them. : It’s your day with your now official husband, though, and if you only want a few cousins and don’t mind ruffling feathers, go for it. I’m not one that believes in abiding by official wedding etiquette all of the time. Certain things can just go out the window, lol. But I just don’t really see a way out of not offending the uninvited.

Post # 6
8470 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Chances are that they won’t ask. And if they do, be completely honest. I didn’t invite a few family members because like you, I wanted to keep it small, and they never said one word about not being invited.

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