Post # 1
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
We’re having a small wedding and really struggling with the guest list. . We have a few cousins we want to invite, but not the other. So like 5% of cousins we want to invite, and 95% we don’t. They invited us to their wedding, and we went to 2 of the 6. We’re just not close. We’d prefer a small, low key wedding. I’m worried a some of the cousins will start something. I just know if we invited everyone, I’ll be counting the seconds until its over. I hate large groups, and I want to enjoy my wedding.
What can we do to best not offend people who are not invited. Any tips, ideas?
Post # 3
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
We just invited who we wanted and said nothing to the people we didnt.
People understand that there are limited numbers… and we made sure both sets of parents disseminated that message among their siblings and cousins.
Edit – and our list was 65 in the end. And we invited some cousins but not their siblings, or some aunty/uncles but not their children. etc
Post # 4
Member
12249 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
We have HUGE families (14 aunts/uncles on my side, 16 on his), so we sent out a letter saying “Hey, we’re only having godparents/grandparents/parents/siblings and friends” We got a LOT of positive response! Only one aunt was angry, and she said “I don’t like Sam as much as her sister, anyway!” So we were glad NOT to invite her!
Post # 5
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
We just invited our immediate family and our grandparents (well, mine, both sets of my husband’s grandparents have passed away; my grandma and grandpa on my dad’s side were unable to attend due to my grandpa’s health not being in good shape for travel with Parkinson’s Disease) and we have no regrets. No one has said anything about being offended, I don’t sense that they are either.
I think you’d run into issues with offending people if you invite some cousins but not all. I had that issue with my extended family and only wanting to invite a few cousins but not others (and not willing to budge on inviting the ones I didn’t want to invite) and also not inviting some of my aunts which is why we kept it so small. Honestly, my advice if you don’t want to offend is to invite all of your cousins or none of them. : It’s your day with your now official husband, though, and if you only want a few cousins and don’t mind ruffling feathers, go for it. I’m not one that believes in abiding by official wedding etiquette all of the time. Certain things can just go out the window, lol. But I just don’t really see a way out of not offending the uninvited.
Post # 6
Member
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Chances are that they won’t ask. And if they do, be completely honest. I didn’t invite a few family members because like you, I wanted to keep it small, and they never said one word about not being invited.
