(Closed) small wedding large guest list

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I had to do that with LOTS of people because we tried to cap our guest list at 50 (we narrowed it down to 54 and the venue holds 75, so it all worked out okay!).

It was uncomfortable and not the greatest conversations, but at the beginning I told them (just in case Susie finds out the date of the wedding, assumes she is invited and buys a ticket out to see me) that I loved them very much, they were great friends, but I was having a very, very small wedding that was going to be almost exclusively family only. Were they thrilled? Not entirely, but they understood.

The only exception I would make to this is to reconsider friends who are more like “family” than friends. Not inviting your best friend of 15 years who you talk to 3 times a week might be a horrible way to end a friendship. Not inviting Jenny who you were friends with off and on for 3 years isn’t going to kill anyone.

Another suggestion is to have a huge bachelorette party or wedding shower. I am doing this so that all of my friends and I can celebrate, because that’s really what the wedding is about for me!

Post # 4
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I wouldn’t tell them why you are not inviting them.  I wouldn’t tell them how many people you are inviting or whether you are inviting family or friends.  I would just tell them you are having a very small initimate wedding and unfortunately you can only accomodate a small number of people.  

Post # 7
Member
8369 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@2ndtime:  ditto this but I would only say something if asked.

Post # 8
Member
8369 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

If you want them there to witness your marriage then invite them. Let them decide if they want to make the trip. Don’t downgrade your wedding because it is in a backyard. Some of the most beautiful pictures I have seen have been of “simple” backyard weddings.

 

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