- 4 years ago
Hi all! I’m having a lot of trouble planning my wedding and I need someone other than my mom to vent to.
My FI and I both want a very small wedding (immediate family only) with an intimate family dinner afterwards for our reception. I found a wonderful venue that would be perfect for our wedding — a really beautiful and fancy restaurant that has a garden patio for the ceremony and a small private dining room for the dinner. My FI and I met with them to look at the venue and it’s absolutely perfect. They are very accommodating to smaller weddings (not so for a lot of other venues in our area), they have delicious food, and the dining room is modern and bright with floor to ceiling windows… beautiful! However, I guess my first mistake was actually trying to include my FI and take him to look at the venue, because now he says he isn’t really a fan of the venue. When I pressed him for why, he said it’s because it’s in a restaurant and we would have to walk through the main dining room to get our private reception area. He also didn’t like that it’s connected to a mall, albeit a really nice mall. I know that if he would just let me do my thing, that it will be a gorgeous space when we get married. Even though I thought both of those reasons were ridiculous reasons to rule out a venue, I told him that if he’s so against the venue to do some research over the weekend on other locations. That was two weeks ago and he has not done a single second of research for anything wedding related! I have tried to ask him a dozen times to PLEASE offer me some suggestions if he’s going to veto my first choice. We’d like to get married in September/early October, so I know that the longer we wait, the less choice we’re going to have. He doesn’t understand this and he thinks it’s crazy to book a place 6 months ahead of time.
I am starting to get really resentful and frustrated because I feel like everyone has to have their input, but they expect ME to do the research. So I do the research, then they tell me that I’m wrong and that they’re sure there are other options out there. WTH?
To add to the matter, I have no desire to plan a wedding, which is partially why I wanted something small. I work a hectic job at a consulting firm and carry most, if not all, of the budern of daily housekeeping and cooking, and now I have to do this too??! When I told my FMIL that I don’t have any interest in planning a wedding or registering for gifts (which she advised me I should do by myself since my FI has no interest in china and silverware, well NEITHER DO I!) she told me that I’m a woman and I’m supposed to plan the wedding, not the FI. This really hit a nerve with me and took me offguard, since I’ve always had a really good relationship with my FI’s family. UGH. But I digress . . .
Anyways, I just don’t know what to do. I’m so tempted to just book the venue and promise my FI that it will be a great wedding. I don’t understand why all of a sudden he cares enough to say no to the venue when he’s never been that interested in wedding planning before. My FMIL mentioned having the wedding at their country club, but I know that if I show interest in having it there, that she’s going to take everything over and it’s going to be a huge event and not at all what we want. That’s a whole other issue though.
I never thought I would have this much trouble with a small wedding!
Thanks in advance for letting me vent!