- 5 years ago
Hi all! I’m having a lot of trouble planning my wedding and I need someone other than my mom to vent to.
My Fiance and I both want a very small wedding (immediate family only) with an intimate family dinner afterwards for our reception. I found a wonderful venue that would be perfect for our wedding — a really beautiful and fancy restaurant that has a garden patio for the ceremony and a small private dining room for the dinner. My Fiance and I met with them to look at the venue and it’s absolutely perfect. They are very accommodating to smaller weddings (not so for a lot of other venues in our area), they have delicious food, and the dining room is modern and bright with floor to ceiling windows… beautiful! However, I guess my first mistake was actually trying to include my Fiance and take him to look at the venue, because now he says he isn’t really a fan of the venue. When I pressed him for why, he said it’s because it’s in a restaurant and we would have to walk through the main dining room to get our private reception area. He also didn’t like that it’s connected to a mall, albeit a really nice mall. I know that if he would just let me do my thing, that it will be a gorgeous space when we get married. Even though I thought both of those reasons were ridiculous reasons to rule out a venue, I told him that if he’s so against the venue to do some research over the weekend on other locations. That was two weeks ago and he has not done a single second of research for anything wedding related! I have tried to ask him a dozen times to PLEASE offer me some suggestions if he’s going to veto my first choice. We’d like to get married in September/early October, so I know that the longer we wait, the less choice we’re going to have. He doesn’t understand this and he thinks it’s crazy to book a place 6 months ahead of time.
I am starting to get really resentful and frustrated because I feel like everyone has to have their input, but they expect ME to do the research. So I do the research, then they tell me that I’m wrong and that they’re sure there are other options out there. WTH?
To add to the matter, I have no desire to plan a wedding, which is partially why I wanted something small. I work a hectic job at a consulting firm and carry most, if not all, of the budern of daily housekeeping and cooking, and now I have to do this too??! When I told my Future Mother-In-Law that I don’t have any interest in planning a wedding or registering for gifts (which she advised me I should do by myself since my Fiance has no interest in china and silverware, well NEITHER DO I!) she told me that I’m a woman and I’m supposed to plan the wedding, not the Fiance. This really hit a nerve with me and took me offguard, since I’ve always had a really good relationship with my FI’s family. UGH. But I digress . . .
Anyways, I just don’t know what to do. I’m so tempted to just book the venue and promise my Fiance that it will be a great wedding. I don’t understand why all of a sudden he cares enough to say no to the venue when he’s never been that interested in wedding planning before. My Future Mother-In-Law mentioned having the wedding at their country club, but I know that if I show interest in having it there, that she’s going to take everything over and it’s going to be a huge event and not at all what we want. That’s a whole other issue though.
I never thought I would have this much trouble with a small wedding!
Thanks in advance for letting me vent!