(Closed) Small wedding regret?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

My husband and I had a fairly large wedding. Or guest list was a little over 300 but only about 250 showed up. I honestly wished I had spend more time with everyone but it was impossible. Looking g back wished it would have been something smaller. All that money spent could have been for better use. Good luck and go with what you truly want!

Post # 3
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

We had 44 people including us at our wedding and I would not change a thing. We have real memories with all of our guests and we were able to do exactly what we wanted because there was a reasonable number of people to coordinate. highly recommend keeping it small!!! Also we had zero no-shows: when it is all of your closest friends and family, no shows just do not happen 

Post # 4
Member
7892 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

50 is still a good amount of people! Don’t forget, there is a lot of extra headache and unnecessary fluff with a larger wedding. The people you are inviting are your closest family and friends. The more people you invite, the less close you will be to your guests. Remember your long term goal for your marriage, which is more than the party. We are also having a similarly sized wedding because we want to buy a house in the future.

Post # 5
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I haven’t had my wedding yet and it is just us two. But I’ll pass on what I’ve heard from so many others as I booked vendors, discussed our plans, watching others make their plans. So many wish they had small weddings or just eloped. I’ve dreamed of a wedding since I was 13. I’ve had to adjust that it didn’t make since  to have a wedding … Avoid the drama. Now, we have the money but I would prefer to spend it on other things. I’ve watch the shows on tv for the past years and realize a wedding is throwing a party for everyone else. For our group of people. Naw. Many say they didn’t see each other cos they were visiting guest. Didn’t eat. Taking pic. So, I’m looking forward to a small wedding. I would have love a few guest. Focus on the positives. You will still have cake, flowers, a dress, etc. the elements of a wedding.  

Post # 6
Member
26 posts
Newbee

View original reply
asocalbee:  Are you regretting not going full out on decorations because of a budget or not being able to see 300+ people? If uts the former, splurge a little more to make it the wedding youve wanted. If its the latter, why not organize a more casual park bbq with the people who you didnt get to invite? As you said in your OP having even more then 100 people would probably cut down the amount of time you get toconverse with people down to several minutes– no more then 10 minutes probably. While a wedding is one of the major events that brings extended family and long lost friends back on the radar for a day, a wedding isnt really the best day to have reunion time with those people. You’re there to put on a show, and theyre there to watch not to talk! 

Post # 7
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Had 50 guests at my wedding (well 48, co-worker flaked on me) and I wouldn’t change a thing. I was an afternoon wedding and there was no dancing, but that was perfect for us. 

Post # 8
Member
508 posts
Busy bee

I had 48 at my first wedding. It was perfect. I still felt a bit rushed trying to talk to everyone but overall it was a relaxed and intimate event and everyone we wanted to be there was.  One couple didn’t turn up but it wasn’t noticable. 48 people can still create a lot of noise and excitement! 

Post # 9
Member
1198 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

i’m having a tiny wedding. and i’m looking forward to it! i didn’t want a huge one full of distant relatives so i’m having a tiny formal ceremony (48 people, including myself and FI) and then a party with about 100 friends 3 weeks after the ceremony! 

Post # 10
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - State Park

Fiance and I debated between a small wedoing (20 people tops) or eloping. We decided on eloping. 

I definitely dreamed about a huge wedding when I was younger, but I met the man of my dreams and I realize there are more important things. I lost my mom a year ago and that really changed my outlook.

I don’t really have any advice for you, other than to follow your heart. Only you will know if you will truly be satisfied with a small wedding. Do you want people there just to fill the space or do you just want the people that are truly important and supportive of you two? 

Post # 11
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

We had 28 guests (30 including ourselves) and it was AWESOME!  SO SO glad we could spend actual time with our guests.  Better for you, and possibly better for your guests who may feel more valued.  We still had a dance floor.  Wouldn’t change a thing. My sister was the inspiration for my small wedding…she had 65 and said she wished she’d kept it smaller.  50 sounds a nice number to me!  Also, I was so grateful I only had to make 30 menus, 30 place cards, 30 favours etc etc.  It meant I could afford more time and money to make these additional touches more personal.

Post # 12
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Oh and you’d be surprised how much support you get from those you don’t invite.  I’ve had Aunts and Uncles and work colleagues and more casual friends send cards, gifts, congratulate us on facebook, send emails….We were upfront about the reasons why we wanted a small wedding and everyone was understanding.  On the day it was so nice to look out at a sea of faces of people I KNOW will be there for us, 10, 20, 30 years from now.  By the way, I’m not dissing big weddings – just highlighting the perks of small ones. 

Post # 13
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

We invited 75 to our wedding and were hoping for about 50 to say yes which is the perfect number in my eyes! In reality, I think ours will end up closer to 60 which we can live with but I wouldn’t want much more than that!

I’ve never heard of anyone regret a small wedding but I’ve heard lots of people who had big weddings say they wished it had been smaller! That’s not to say I haven’t been to some amazing big weddings, it’s just that it’s impossible for the B&G to really spend any time with that many guests or take in the day itself when they’re so busy rushing around.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by  SellyJo.
Post # 14
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Ours will be on the smaller side and I am so glad! It takes a lot of stress off knowing that those who will be there will be only people who we know love us and really want the best for us…no worrying about impressing your picky great aunt or your coworker’s snooty wife. It seems like you’re making the right choice for your financial situation but as PPs have mentioned it’s still not too late to change to a larger, more casual wedding if you want.

Post # 15
Member
3584 posts
Sugar bee

50 is a good amount of people. Is it just your nearest relatives and friends? If it’s people who are extremely close to u, i don’t see why they wpuld flake out on u.

Also it’s depends on you and your guest that are going to make your wedding great. If everyone is up dancing and talking everyone is just going to have fun and not pay attention to the number of guest

my number is about 80 which is a perfect in between. 

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