Post # 1
My fiance and I are very similar in that we dont want a big huge wedding, and would prefer a smaller more intimate wedding with our close friends and family.
Problem is, I have never been to a small wedding and dont really know where to begin!
He is Catholic, and i am not religious, buti think for him we would prefer to have a priest for the ceremony. (Although i dont want to have the ceremony in a church, i think i’d prefer an on-site ceremony). Oh and we live in Toronto (Canada)
I don’t know how to layout the day, or even how to begin planning for this and it is really stressing me out. I would be happy with city hall, but for both our parents i know they would really love it if we had a “wedding”
Anyone else in a similiar situation or have advice to offer?
Post # 3
I think the first thing I would do is make a tentative guest list. This way you can kind of have an idea of small is “small.” Then from there you can starting looking a venue that would fit your need. I think as you see the venues, ideas and inspiration will start to come to you.
Post # 4
Define what is really important to you, focus on those 2 or 3 things–and don’t do much else.
I like small, intimate events. If I never attend another event of 250 people in a hotel ballroom (or the midwest’s version, a legion hall/community center) it will be too soon.
If you guest list if under 50 there are SO MANY fabulous places you can use for a recpetion, IF YOU HAVE ONE. Or go the old fashioned way and hold reception the church hall. Pratically free.
Post # 5
@Carlyb246: i would look for a venue hall for rent off the water or out doors for your ceremony and a caterer i think small intimate weddings are beautiful.
Post # 6
@Carlyb246: As pp mentioned, figure out your guest list. I’m having a small wedding of 14-16 including us. Some people have a small wedding of 50. So that affects what sorts of venues might work for you.
Next, I would check out Intimate Weddings Venue Finder which has venues listed that accomodate smaller weddings. There are a lot in the Toronto area. If you like historical style, George Brown House can accomdate weddings of under 90, isn’t too expensive and is really pretty.
Also, consider looking for restaurants that offer private dining. There are a number in Toronto that can do small weddings and have very pretty spaces in all sorts of styles from vintage to contemporary to ultra modern.
Some of these venues would work for both ceremony and reception. Others might only work for reception, but you could search on google maps for nearby churches and possibly find one within a couple blocks.
Hope this helps!
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
1. It may be different in Canada, but here in the US a priest will only marry you in the church. So you need to investigate that and then talk with your SO about how important it is for him to have the marriage blessed by the church. You may have to compromise on this one.
2. Decide your tentative guest list. If parents are contributing financially to the ceremony or reception costs, they may expect to have a say in your guest list, so talk to them about who they want to invite.
3. Develop a vision for your wedding. For inspiration, look through blogs and bee recaps. Ask yourselves what you want the day to feel like? Elegant? Casual? Fun? Whimsical? Funky?
4. Figure out your budget. How much is currently chilling in your account that you want to use for the wedding? If family members are contributing, how much can they give you upfront?
5. Find a venue that fits with your vision and budget, and lock in that date. You are not giving yourselves much time to plan, so you need to get to this point soon. And if the venue does not include food, then add a caterer to the list. (EDIT: B&Bs and small inns are great for this sort of thing. Your favorite restuarant could also work well, depending on your group size. You could also think about local parks, small town museums, and other less-than-traditional places.)
6. Research the heck out of and book a photographer. Again, good photogs will book a year or more in advance, so you may want to get on this.
7. The rest is details. Florist, day of coordinator, music, etc.
Post # 8
@lovekiss: Honestly, hardly any of the things that you mentioned are necessary.
She said she’d be happy with a city hall event. I don’t think she needs a day of wedding coordinator etc.
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
@FauxPas2012: This is true. She and her SO could go to the courthouse and get a license tomorrow, wait the 48 hour waiting period, and get married by the end of the week. But since she wants to plan a wedding with guests (to please/satisfy her parents… which is her preogative), she needs to know what she and her SO want, how much they want to spend, where these people will go, what they will feed them, and how they wants to remember the day (or not). As for the details, they are what they are. If she wants them, fine. If not, they are just details. so yeah…
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2012 - Mother of the Bride's residence
We had a small wedding — we had 36 confirmed guests including ourselves and our photographer, and then we added in a few extras at the end. We started with the guest list and then a venue.
Post # 11
One difference to a large wedding is that you can have a “reception” in a private room of a restaurant (unless dancing is important to you two, that wouldn’t work with many restaurants).
We are also having a small wedding, probably around 30-50 people. Dancing is important for my FH, so we are not going the restaurant route.
Also check out the small wedding thread here: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/the-small-wedding-thread-less-than-40-guests 🙂
Post # 12
Thanks for all the replies! Lots to think about.
We made up a list…. Just off the top of our heads, who we would invite, and it came out to 75 ppl!!! We were expecting way less. I think there are a few on the list that will end of getting cut so I’d say we would be in the 50-60 guest range.
Do most people omit the dancing/dj when it’s a small wedding. I love the idea of a smaller wedding but how do you ensure it isn’t boring for the guests?
Post # 13
@Carlyb246: Did you check out the link I posted two posts up? Your worries (dancing/dj/boring) have been discussed in that thread.