Post # 1
We are NOT ELOPING but didn’t know where else to put this and thought others could relate on this board. We are doing a small wedding for several (personal) reasons. 25 guests max. My parents are hosting a party later on (200 guests) for me and my Fiance about a month after the wedding.
So what is the etiquette here? What should we put on the invitation? Do we register? I’ve known people who eloped, did small weddings and did receptions later on and registered. I went to those receptions with gifts and wasn’t offended in the least. They fed me. I gave them a gift, it seemed fair.
Should we put “gifts optional” on the invite? Registering yay or nay? What’s the etiquette on all of this? I went online and couldn’t find anything.
Please be considerate/respectful in the comments!! Please and thank you, Bees!
Post # 2
emilyluwest: I wouldn’t mention anything about gifts on the invite. Go ahead and register, and let your mom know where you’re registry is, so she can pass it along if any of the guests ask her 🙂
Post # 3
emilyluwest: What she said. There should never be anything abouit gifts on the invitation for a wedding. It is ok for a shower since, by definition, a shower is a gift giving occasion.
If people want to give you a gift, they will.
Post # 4
I would register but not mention anything about gifts on the invite. People will ask if they want to know, or they can just google your names.
Post # 5
Thank you, all! I wasn’t sure. I thought the “gift optional” might be more considerate and not look gift grabby. This was sooo helpful! Also, thank you for being so polite. 🙂 People can be really catty when it comes to this kind of stuff.
Post # 6
You never mention gifts on an invitation. To do so is rude.
You could register, but I wouldn’t expect gifts from all your guests. Some people view this as rude, because you’re still suggesting gifts for them to buy you, even though you didn’t want them at your actual wedding (for whatever reason). It’s similar to why you wouldn’t have a bridal shower in this circumstance.
Post # 7
emilyluwest: you never mention gift in invitation if people feel the need to ask you where you register then you can tell them
Post # 8
emilyluwest: Like other PPs said, don’t put anything about gifts on the invite. What we did was list our wedding website on the invite, and the website had a links to our registry, accommodations, maps, wedding events, etc.
Post # 9
housebee: That’s a good idea! I didn’t plan on putting anything about gifts on the invite-I had no clue what to do. I just don’t want my guests to feel like I’m doing this for the gifts (because I’m not)!
Post # 10
emilyluwest: Me and SO are planning on doing the same thing as you when our time comes (still not engaged yet), but we are going to have a family only wedding ceremony (25 ppl tops) and then have a reception at a later date. I had the same idea as @housebee to list the wedding website on the invite for RSVP and there will be a tab with links to the registry for those who are interested!
Post # 11
I agree with everyone else. Go ahead and register and just don’t mention anything about gifts unless someone asks. For the record, I’d bring a gift and appreciate the registry, even if I had to ask you/your mom/your Maid/Matron of Honor for the registry info.