- 7 months ago
Hello! This is my first post, so I hope I’m doing everything right.
Anyway, after five years of dating, four years of long distance, my partner and I are finally getting engaged and moving in together this summer! I couldn’t be more thrilled, but I’m trying to make decisions about the ring and could use some help from all of you more experienced folk! Sustainability feels important to me, so I want to go with a diamond alternative wherever possible. But I also love the classic look and elegance of a white stone. We’ve narrowed down our options for out budgets and ethical concerns to moissanite and lab diamonds, and they both seem like really lovely options. We’re looking at the Aria setting from Brilliant Earth, for the record.
So, I just don’t know what to do. My ideal size is around 7.5mm/the 1.5 ct equivalent mark, based on my finger size. I have fairly large fingers–they’re normally a size eight, but I have had some health issues in the past year that have led me to retain water and weight in weird places, so I’m currently around a 9.5. Thankfully, those are sort of getting sorted out and if I stay healthy I think I’ll be closer to my normal size over the next few months. Regardless, I’ll be somewhere in that range when we get engaged, and regardless, I’d like to be in a certain ct range for the finger coverage. We could get a Round Brilliant moissanite of that specification and be comfortably within our budget, and I’d be able to get any wedding ring I might want–although I’m pretty sure I want a simple one. We could also go the lab diamond route, and the ones we’re looking at hover around 1-1.15 cts, J color, VS1 clarity, and Super Ideal Cut. The color there makes me a little nervous, but we’re going for a rose gold setting, and I’ve heard that can help offset any color in the stone?
In terms of my own feelings, I think they’re both beautiful and perfectly lovely stones. We’re fairly young, so I don’t know what size would seem unrealistic to others, but I don’t know that I care to even pass a moissanite off as a diamond. After all, one of the main reasons I want an alternative is because of the ethical implications. That said, my boyfriend’s family can sometimes be sort of judgemental and uppity, and they are wealthier than my own family is, and so I often feel sensitive or aware of that disparity when I’m around them anyway. It’s not that I really care if they know, it’s complicated nerves about how it would make them feel to know. Does that make sense? Even if I’m not ashamed, or if I think it’s a beautiful and special stone, I still don’t want them viewing me negatively if they percieve it as a negative thing. His parents actually know and are super on board, it’s just his extended family and sister who I have a complicated history with anyway. So that’s one thing with moissanite. However, I love that extra bit of coverage, and in a blind test for my preferences, I picked moissanite every time–I love the colorful sparkles. I am definitely aware of the ‘splintery’ cut of moissanite, but it doesn’t bother me. That said, I wonder if there are moissanite wearers who felt that way and then ended up fixating on it? I’m also worried about the ‘oil slick’ tendency moissanites have.
Anyway, what are your thoughts? If any of you have pictures of similar stones and sizes in your lovely rings, I’d love to see them!!