(Closed) Smaller sooner wedding due to terminal illness in family

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

everridiculous:  mt Fiance lost his mother to cancer in April after a 10 year battle. I know how scary it is, and I just want to offer my condolences. Its a terrible and scary thing to go thru.

Honestly, (etiquette police, don’t kill me!) I’d send out an email. You have bigger fish to fry, rather than worrying about everyone’s feelings. First and foremost, you are responsible only to yourself and Fiance. If getting married before Future Father-In-Law turns for the worse is what you want, then you do that. 

Post # 3
1612 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

everridiculous:  Nobody will feel slighted if you have to change your wedding plans due to an illness. Anyone who does is seriously not worth the time. Honestly, I would spread the news through word of mouth. It would feel weird to put it in an email. Good luck.

Post # 4
2347 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

everridiculous:  First of all, my condolences to you and your Fiance. I’m sorry to hear that 🙁 

This is not the same situation, but friends of ours eloped, got settled, then had a “big” wedding.  What about having a small, intimate affair with immediate friends and family for FFIL’s sake and keeping your original plans?  Is that a possibility?     

Post # 5
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Email is fine.


I would however, do as many phone calls as possible so you can let people know one-on-one that Future Father-In-Law is not well.  I would do it for anyone who would remotely know him or who has ever met him who’s comming to your wedding.

Post # 6
1984 posts
Buzzing bee

I think an email is a great idea. 

And everybody should understand the situation. If they don’t, don’t worry about it. Focus on getting your Future Father-In-Law to the wedding.

Post # 7
2025 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I’m with PP and I think that an email is sufficient. If people don’t understand then they aren’t thinking straight. Also for the family you aren’t close with or don’t know well, get your mother to help you spread the word. It’s her family and she will understand how much stress you’re under already, you could use the help.

My condolences to you and your soon to be family, this won’t be an easy road. My best friend’s Future Father-In-Law was diagnosed shortly before their wedding and their first year of marriage was very bumpy with his ups and downs, they came out the other side stronger and closer than they could have imagined. Chin up, there will be light at the end of the tunnel!

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