(Closed) Smaller sooner wedding due to terminal illness in family

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

everridiculous:  mt FI lost his mother to cancer in April after a 10 year battle. I know how scary it is, and I just want to offer my condolences. Its a terrible and scary thing to go thru.

Honestly, (etiquette police, don’t kill me!) I’d send out an email. You have bigger fish to fry, rather than worrying about everyone’s feelings. First and foremost, you are responsible only to yourself and FI. If getting married before FFIL turns for the worse is what you want, then you do that. 

Post # 3
1616 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

everridiculous:  Nobody will feel slighted if you have to change your wedding plans due to an illness. Anyone who does is seriously not worth the time. Honestly, I would spread the news through word of mouth. It would feel weird to put it in an email. Good luck.

Post # 4
2352 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

everridiculous:  First of all, my condolences to you and your FI. I’m sorry to hear that 🙁 

This is not the same situation, but friends of ours eloped, got settled, then had a “big” wedding.  What about having a small, intimate affair with immediate friends and family for FFIL’s sake and keeping your original plans?  Is that a possibility?     

Post # 5
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Email is fine.


I would however, do as many phone calls as possible so you can let people know one-on-one that FFIL is not well.  I would do it for anyone who would remotely know him or who has ever met him who’s comming to your wedding.

Post # 6
1995 posts
Buzzing bee

I think an email is a great idea. 

And everybody should understand the situation. If they don’t, don’t worry about it. Focus on getting your FFIL to the wedding.

Post # 7
2033 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I’m with PP and I think that an email is sufficient. If people don’t understand then they aren’t thinking straight. Also for the family you aren’t close with or don’t know well, get your mother to help you spread the word. It’s her family and she will understand how much stress you’re under already, you could use the help.

My condolences to you and your soon to be family, this won’t be an easy road. My best friend’s FFIL was diagnosed shortly before their wedding and their first year of marriage was very bumpy with his ups and downs, they came out the other side stronger and closer than they could have imagined. Chin up, there will be light at the end of the tunnel!

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