(Closed) smaller wedding just because you dont know 100 people

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3012 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I know plenty of people I could invite, but my fear is that people won’t show up.  My family is all insanzy.  Really dysfunctional.  I guess I’ll invite the amount of people I can afford and just be thankful of who actually shows up.  My 

Post # 4
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I guess I am a bit, but I’m not upset about it at all. Originally Fiance and I wanted a small wedding of like 75 or so just because we didn’t want to be overwhelmed. But then parents got involved and families and etc etc we ended up with a 150 person guest list. BUT! We are getting married at least 2-3 hrs from everyone during the winter so a lot of people are rsvp’ing no. It looks now like we will definitely have under 100, and very possibly only in the 75ish range. I guess some people would be upset that we invited every person we wanted to and only half are coming, but I’m actually thrilled at the idea of a small wedding. I’m so happy that the people who are coming are those we really really want to see, and we’ll have more time to spend with them. I’m happy that we’ll have more time to dance and enjoy ourselves because we won’t be killing ourselves to greet 150 people. πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

We didn’t invite people based on who we thought would actually come, we invited based on who we wanted there.  For instance, we invited my step-grandparents knowing full well that their age and illnesses wouldn’t allow them to travel, but we genuinely would have loved to celebrate with them and we didn’t want to risk hurting their feelings by making them think they weren’t invited.  We knew over 200 people we wanted to attend…it just turns out we only knew about 90 who would actually come (almost everyone on the guest list would have had to take a plane to get to us).  This worked for us because my husband was not digging the idea of 100 people watching him do something he considered really personal. 

Post # 6
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

This was the situation with our wedding – but we were totally ok with it as neither of us wanted a larger wedding. We ended up with about 60 people there, which was a great size for being able to spend a little time chatting to everyone.

I’ve never been one for the big group of girlfriends like a lot of women (and a lot of my friends are guys).

Even though my husband has a very large family, they all live 3k miles away from us, and many didn’t have the finances to travel to our wedding. I come from a very small family (if my brother doesn’t have children with his last name, he and I are the end of the line for our last name!), so I didn’t have a lot of people to invite from my side. Also, we decided we were not going to invite every second cousin twice removed, etc.

Post # 9
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I wouldnt worry about it if you only know a few people though, atleast no one will be offended because you didnt invite them and you can save tons of money!

we have the direct opposite problem and are having the hardest down deciding who to cut off the list.  our hall can only hold 175 and we have slightly over 200 due to large close family and lots of friends.

Post # 10
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Ms. Meowerson: If for some reason the woman he had kids with wanted them to have her last name, I guess. We decided our future kids will have my husband’s last name, so my brother’s the only one left to keep our family name going πŸ˜‰

Post # 11
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

@gabrielleelise1981: im so confused…is it common in your area for children to not take their father’s last name? i’ve heard of kids taking both parents’ last names or hyphenating or something but never heard of taking the mother’s last name

Post # 12
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Were inviting 300 people and my mom is hoping that only half will come.  I personally don’t know enough people to invite.  But my Fiance knows everyone on the planet.  I think there is nothing wrong with only inviting who you know.

Post # 13
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

this was a fear of mine in the beginning of wedding planning, that i wouldn’t know enough people to invite. my guest list has swelled since then, and now i realize it would have been nice to keep it around 75!

Post # 14
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We thought at first it would be only about 50 and probably less then that.  Turned out I invited 150 and 76 said yes and showed up.  πŸ™‚  I wouldn’t have wanted a bigger wedding then that tbh.  πŸ™‚

Post # 15
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Mrs. Meowerson: Sorry if I worded it confusingly – it’s just a possibility is all, since lots of people nowadays hyphenate their children’s last names and whatnot. My husband and I decided our kids will only have his last name (instead of hyphenating), which only leaves my brother.

Sometimes women who have kids with people they are not in a serious relationship with don’t give the kid the father’s name and just give the baby their own name (or for other reasons)…and my brother has serious drug/alcohol addiction issues, as do all the people he associates with…he’s transient most of the time, etc. There is always the chance he could father a child, but he’s not with anyone, and so there’s the chance that she would just give the baby her name, instead of his. For some reason, my mom and I were just talking about this scenario the other day, and so it was in my mind. But it probably doesn’t make sense written out.

Sorry for the confusion! πŸ™‚

Post # 16
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

@gabrielleelise1981: thanks for the clarification- sorry if it got too personal- i just get confused easily and thought there might be some new baby-naming trend =)

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