Post # 1
Last night, SO and I went to a baby shower for a friend who is having twins. It was a pretty relaxed affair – coed, alcoholic beverages, BBQ. The party was taking place in their house, but mostly out on the patio. At one point during the night, I was chatting with the mom-to-be outside and all of a sudden, a couple of people started lighting up right next to her. She didn’t confront them, but she immediately went inside and stayed there for the rest of the night while people smoked.
When SO pulled out a cigarette (I hate that he smokes, but I try not to nag), I asked him to go smoke by the street and not on the patio, out of respect for our friend. He looked at me like I’d grown a second head.
What do you think? I was pretty appalled that people were lighting up in the main party area because she was clearly uncomfortable with it…especially since the party was for her!
Post # 3
OMG that’s crazy! However, she probably should have said something.
Post # 4
I agree with you – I would have been appalled. If I were her though, I would have said something.
Post # 5
Probably has a lot to do with her social circle.
There are pregnant women who choose to smoke . Also, If she was hostess, and you typically allow your guests to smoke in an outdoor setting, they may not have known the difference?
Post # 6
People can be so oblivious sometimes. I know that some women do smoke while pregnant though… but if I were her I would’ve said something to them.
Post # 7
You’d think when attending someone’s baby shower you’d clue in and AT LEAST not light up right beside her. I’m glad you were thinking of her!
While I’d like to say she should have said something… I probably would have done the same thing and found a non-smokey area. I’m a wimp.
Post # 8
If it bothered her, she should have said something. Smokers assume (and yes I am one) that lighting up outside is ok. When she did not say anything to the first person who lit up, the other smokers naturally assumed it was ok to smoke in that area. I ALWAYS ask my host or hostess where it is cool for me to smoke. I go to my car if I have to.
Post # 9
Personally, I think it’s rude to light up at someone’s party without asking first, PERIOD. Nevermind if they’re pregnant. Just because you need your cancer fix doesn’t mean that I need to be subjected to it, especially if it’s my property you’re smoking on.
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)
Yeah, I don’t think it’s OK to light up at a baby shower! If you really need to smoke, you should go up on the street. My grandparents used to smoke when I was a kid, and my parents always made them take it outside (and not just the patio!).
Post # 11
If she had an issue with it she should have said something. I thought this thread would be about the pregnant friend smoking or someone smoking inside. Most everyone I know has no issue with guests smoking outside on their property, it seems to be the standard. If she was uncomfortable she should have asked them to put them out.
Post # 12
Yikes, that seems pretty rude. It would seem obvious that if you around children, the elderly or pregnant women that you would light up elsewhere. But I suppose an addiction is an addiction.
Post # 13
@KT808: You would assume that lighting up outside right next to a PREGNANT person whose baby shower you are attending is okay?
Post # 14
I do think she should have said something, but she’s pretty quiet so I assume she was a little nervous. I definitely would have said something if it were me!
Post # 15
I used to smoke and always asked where it was convienent for me to smoke when I was at someones house. I would never smoke on the patio beside a nonsmoker even if there were ashtrays everywhere. Now that I dont smoke I sometimes forget to put out ashtrays when we have smoking guests over until I see them throwing butts on my grass…so gross. Was there ashtrays outside? If so, it’s kinda a green light for smokers to light up.
Post # 16
Wow, so rude but people can be rude. No surprises!