(Closed) Smoking when pregnant

posted 10 years ago in Pregnancy
  • poll: what is you opinion of people who smoke when pregnant?

    Its ok

    Its wrong

    womans body her choice

    I wouldn't but I don't judge those who do

  • Post # 71
    Member
    483 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I was talking about this thread with FH (and about the tangent @blondy and I were discussing), and he said that if I wanted to consume a drink a week while pregnant, he’d support me — but he asked that I not do it in public.

    When I asked why, he said because he would be afraid of the public flogging we’d incur from random people.

    …Which brings me back to smoking and pregnancy.  I’m the kind of person who when I see something wrong happening, I say something.  (Most recent example: the couple that left their dog in the car on a 95 degree day.)  I believe in the “it takes a village” mentality.

    If you saw someone smoking while pregnant, would you say something to that person?  I probably would ask while smiling, “I hope you’re trying to quit!”  Would any of you say something?

    Post # 72
    Member
    1929 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2008

    @missrobots:  agree with you and all similar postings.

    The whole “my mom did it and I am fine” is NOT an excuse.  That is an anecdote.  Science shows it is bad.  Its the same as saying that you drive your kid around in a car with no car seat or seat belt and they haven’t been hurt yet – or that our parents didn’t use car seats and we survived.  It is a completely faulty and dangerous pretence at logic. 

    When you know better, you do better.

    We KNOW smoking is bad for a baby, just as we KNOW car seats save lives.  If you aren’t ready to do the right thing by your kid, then don’t have a baby. Luckily we still have the option to terminate an unwanted pregnancy.

    Post # 73
    Member
    782 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    As an ex-smoker (of only 3 1/2 months!) I am a little sensitive on this issue.  I completely agree that pregnant woman should not smoke.  However, some of the language you guys are using to describe it (“child abuse” is the one that comes to mind) is a bit harsh. 

    It took me probably 10-15 attempts over the last year to finally quit smoking for good.  Over the course of that year, the toll it took on me physically and emotionally–going through withdrawal over and over and over again–was terrible.  I guess what I’m trying to say is just that if you’ve never experienced addiction, please try to have a little compassion before you judge.  She’s not making a “choice” to continue smoking; her addiction has made that choice for her.  It takes a tremendous amount of strength and will power to make a real choice (as opposed to acting under the compulsion of an addiction) and quit smoking.  Many, many people just aren’t able to do it.  My dad isn’t, and it breaks my heart.  Honestly, I truly believe that cigarettes should be flat out illegal (although I don’t want to start a debate on that subject or threadjack or anything).

    I guess I’m just saying that certain groups have really demonized smokers over the last few decades, and it’s good to take a minute to remember that they’re not evil, and they don’t hate their babies, and they aren’t trying to give you cancer with secondhand smoke.  They’re just people like everyone else who have a weakness that they can’t control.  In any situation where I see people making lifestyle choices that are harmful to them (smokers, the obese, alcoholics, etc.), instead of feeling superior and judging their choices I try to respect the fact that I will never know what goes on in their lives, what struggles they face, and what emotional resources they have available to them to face those struggles.  So I try to feel sympathy and compassion, and I try to give them the benefit of the doubt.  We all have our vices and weaknesses.

    That said, I agree with the other posters who say that we should encourage mothers to use all available resources at their disposal to make the healthiest choices for themselves and their baby, and we should continue educating people on the dangers of cigarette smoke to unborn children. 

    Post # 74
    Member
    740 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Cedar Lake Cellars

    @Katnisseverdeen:  Yes but the baby’s liver doesn’t have to.  They share the mothers blood supply and she processes it for them.  Just as their lungs can’t breath underwater and their kidneys can’t filter the blood – that’s what the placenta is for. 

    I’m not advocating mass alcohol consumption.  But, they have since heavily critisized the main study on fetal alcohol syndrome as having extensive fraud (just like the vaccine/autism one).  It’s really something that needs to be looked at again.  As of right now, most doctors say that it’s okay to have a very small amount of alchohol while pregnant. 

    Post # 75
    Member
    3683 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I can’t believe some of her fans would defend her.

     

    If you smoke, it’s your business.  Fine.  If you’re an adult, you know the effects of it.  But if you’re pregnant, you are engaging in a harmful activity that can have adverse effects on an innocent baby that has no choice in it.  That, my friends, is wrong, there’s no grey area.  A fetus is absorbing everything you’re absorbing.  Nicotine, alcohol, hair dye, mercury, all sorts of things you’re in direct contact with can lead to birth defects.  You don’t need to live in a bubble, but if you don’t avoid smoking, then you have no business getting pregnant.

    Post # 76
    Member
    1187 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    My opinion is that people who smoke while pregnant are ignorant and selfish. I will not smoke when pregnant and it makes me angry when I see other mothers who do.

    Post # 77
    Member
    3683 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    @Mrs. Honeybee:  I see the point you’re trying to make.  Smoking is an addiction and a difficult one to battle.  However, a woman smoking while pregnant IS harming her baby.  Harming a child is child abuse.  It may not make this woman evil, but it makes her selfish.

    Post # 78
    Member
    1736 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I am shocked at the language used to describe smoking mothers,  ” child abuse” “unfit mother”, ” I want to call CPS” etc. is incredably harsh.

    While I agree that Smoking while pregnant is BAD, ( no ifs ands or buts there) I think IMO that you should not judge them for it.  For all you know other than the smoking, they could be the BEST mom in the world, and on the same hand you don’t know if a non-smoking mom hits or abuses  their child.

     

    I completely agree with Mrs. Honeybee: she put it better than  I could.

    Post # 79
    Member
    3578 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    “So all the people suggesting that it is wrong which is the vast majority, would you support laws on this?”

    I didn’t answer this in my first reply to this thread.

    No, even though I find smoking while pregnant horrible, I would not support laws against it.

    Post # 80
    Member
    253 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011 - St. Joseph's Parish, Seattle Tennis Club

    Considering the known harm to the fetus that smoking causes, I consider this to be a form of child abuse. Not okay.

    Post # 81
    Member
    253 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011 - St. Joseph's Parish, Seattle Tennis Club

    @Mrs. Honeybee:  I completely understand that it is really, really hard to quit. However, I don’t care. You (general “you,” not you specifically!) are knowingly putting your baby at risk when you smoke. It is not just your health that you are affecting, but the child that is inside you as well. 

    Yes, I dislike it when people smoke in public because I have asthma and the smoke makes my lungs constrict. However, I am an adult and I can pull on my big girl panties and walk away, or hold my breath, or whatever it takes until the situation passes. An unborn fetus that depends on you for nutrients and life does not have that option.

    Sorry. I am not meaning to attack you 🙂 This post comes across as a little rough, but I feel passionately about this! I understand that some pregnant women might imbibe in a glass of wine or two while pregnant, but I think smoking is an entirely separate, hazardous issue.

    Post # 82
    Member
    253 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011 - St. Joseph's Parish, Seattle Tennis Club

    @Ree723:  Yes, smoking as an adult is legal. But underage (under 16) smoking IS ILLEGAL. I believe a fetus qualifies as under 16.

    Post # 83
    Member
    1929 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2008

    @Mrs. Honeybee:  I think that is a really good point.  I have known people who  I am very close with try and fail so many times, and it is HARD.    As in, taking over every aspect of your life, painful, minute-by-minute hard.

    That said, I think if a woman is a smoker, it is her job to make sure she doesn’t get pregnant until she has quit for good.  The same way that you shouldn’t get pregnant if you can’t feed your child, or take care of them properly, you shouldn’t get pregnant if you are going to be knowlingly unable to keep from damaging them in utero.  Obviously not everyone takes BC seriously, but I think it is highly irresponsible and selfish for someoen to get pregnant knowing they will smoke while pregnant.

    Post # 84
    Member
    253 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011 - St. Joseph's Parish, Seattle Tennis Club

    I just came across as a crazy lady. Oh jeebus. 

    Post # 85
    Member
    782 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    @candy apple:  I understand, and I didn’t take it as a personal attack!  I actually quit smoking because I wanted the best possible life for myself, my husband, and our future children.  DH and I agreed that we should not think about having children until we knew that I could quit smoking and stay quit.  Since we’d like to start a family in a couple of years, I figured I had no time to waste!  But it was a terrible experience, and even though I’ve come out on top so far, I know that every day is another day that I might slip up.  I’ve felt the pride and euphoria of quitting and then the shame and guilt of relapsing many, many times before.  But I have hope and faith that this time I’ll make it!

    Please understand that I don’t mean to be all “poor me!” and “it’s so hard having to live with the consequences of my bad decisions!”  I just wanted to remind everyone that smokers are real people out there with feelings and struggles just like you.  I know what a touchy subject this is because there’s an innocent child involved, and I completely agree that our tolerance for self-destructive behavior reaches its limit when a person’s actions are affecting the health of their child.  However, I don’t think “child abusers” is a productive term to use when dealing with this problem, because it’s not really about mothers who are choosing to hurt their children but about mothers who don’t feel like they can choose not to hurt their children.  I think in order to solve the problem we need to understand the problem, which has its roots in addiction rather than abusive tendencies.

    The topic ‘Smoking when pregnant’ is closed to new replies.

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