(Closed) smug FMIL always on my case about my diet! *Vent*

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

That is seriously annoying. I’m a vegetarian and so is Darling Husband and my brother is vegan, and luckily our families have accepted this, though not always happily.

Post # 4
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@craftylish:  You’re right.  What she’s doing is super uncool and I would similarly be pretty steamed if someone told me to lay off enjoying a prime rib.  My former cubicle-mate is vegan and while we would tease back and forth about it occasionally, I would also go with her to some of the vegan friendly restaurants and try the entrees too.  While going vegan isn’t a religious tenant, I look at it the same way as criticizing someone who practices kosher eating or chooses gluten free food without having the gluten allergy.  All take dedication and research and it’s no one’s business unless they’re a doctor or a nutritionist and the person in question is their patient.

Post # 5
Member
3136 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@craftylish:  i tend to be very bitchy and to the point. i would really just say, i understand you are concerned about my diet. my doctor and i are comfortable with this way of life and i do not have plans to change. i would appreciate if we can agree to disagree and drop the topic.

and then, i would no longer engage in the conversation. if she brings it up, let the comment sit for 15 sec and then pointedly change the subject.

it seems that by sending her articles (no matter how factual), you’re keeping the argument going. take yourself out of it and it will end.

Post # 6
Member
2376 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

That must be so frustrating!  I know part of the problem is that there is a significant percentage of both vegetarians and vegans who THINK they’re healthy, preach to the world about the wonders of their diet, and they’re a physical train wreck.  These are the ones that eat mac and faux cheese on a daily basis and are convinced that their lifestyle is superior.  It’s harder to maintain a proper vitamin/nutrient balance as a vegan, and not everyone does it.  People see the vegans that are pale with sunken eyes and look like they’re about to keel over and assume that everyone’s the same way.

The only thing I can suggest is that if you decide to have a baby at some future point and she goes after you, just keep repeating “I’ve been working closely with my doctor, and he/she feels that the baby and I are both very healthy, but thank you for your concern.”

Post # 7
Member
7404 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

One of my best friends is a vegetarian (although not vegan).  She gave birth to healthy twin girls and remained a vegetarian throughout her pregnancy.  She received massive judgement and stupid comments- but her OBGYN supported her!  Just thought I’d share her story.  Your Mother-In-Law is nuts.

Post # 10
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

i would literally just say, ‘i am tired of this topic. i am healthy and my doctor has ok’d my diet. i don’t need your permission to be a vegan. let’s not have this discussion again.’

 

she clearly isn’t taking the hint. so you can either be direct, and have 10 awkward minutes, or you can listen to her garbage for the rest of your days. i for one, would pick the first option. 

Post # 11
Member
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@craftylish:  Oh helllll no. Haha. Seriously. I’m a vegetarian and have been for almost 20 years, so I get it. DH’s family can be snarky about it occasionally, and his brothers sometimes post things on my FB about how good meat is for you. 

Honestly, just don’t engage her. I know you don’t want to cause problems, but a simple “I’m very healthy, and I feel great. Thanks for your concern though” would suffice. She’ll probably stop?

Post # 14
Member
2376 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@craftylish:  That’s very true.  One of my vegan friends gave birth to a very healthy, happy baby girl almost a year ago now.  During the pregnancy, she wanted to maintain her vegan diet, but decided that if her body was craving something non-vegan, she would listen to it.  She ended up craving eggs like crazy, so she ate them.  She even went out of her way to find a local farm with true free range, antibiotic free chickens. The amount of hell she received for that by her fellow vegans was INSANE.  All that mattered to her was that she was healthy and the baby was healthy.  And that’s all that should matter.

Post # 15
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Ewwwww. I’m a flexatarian and I get shit for my diet, as well. I eat fairly healthy and am encouraging FI’s little sister to eat the same way, and all we ever hear from some family is, “Ughhhh, where do you get your protein?? That can’t be healthyyyyy.” Am I the healthiest eater? No, but I don’t eat fast food except in very occasional instances, and I mostly eat lean meats, vegetables, and yeah, a lot of pasta (we’re trying to get away from that, haha), but I’m not freaking eating McDonald’s every day, and I’m obviously a healthy weight, so LAY OFF.

 

Also, omg, Dr. Oz. I love my Future Mother-In-Law, but I swear to god, every time I hear her say, “Well I heard it on Dr. Oz!” or some shit like that, I want to scream. 

 

(Sidenote: what do you eat for your protein sources?)

 

Post # 16
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@craftylish:  I get the feeling she is just jelous of how healthy and well-informed you are… 

You clearly know what you are doing with your diet and she is probably just jelous. 

 

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