(Closed) Snarky comments about my long engagement

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1481 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I think it’s more “common” for engagements to be a year or less. That being said, you are young and you know what’s best for your engagement and wedding.

Post # 4
3297 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

I understand where you’re coming from. All you can do is let it slide off your shoulders. Our engagement will be just under 2 years, but we’re already down to 287 days (I just checked TheKnot lol) it goes by so fast, especially when you’re focused on school. We’re really having fun with just slowly planning and it’s really been a blessing. We’ve found the best deals, had time to really hash out ideas, and there’s been no real stress. Just ignore the haters 🙂

Post # 5
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

People are douchebags and don’t know how to mind their own business. Like PPs said, you know what’s best for you and your relationship, so brush them haters off. At least your Fiance loves you and your families support you! Many bees don’t even have family support! So I think you’ve got a good thing going. 😉

Post # 6
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I had this happen too (doesn’t help we postponed the wedding too) And it is annoying now BUT when you really get into planning (closer around the 1 year mark) Those comments stop.

Having a long engagement actually helped a lot we were able to save more money, Look for deals (like almost half of my venue cost) and now that we are actually really getting into planning we are getting a lot of support and help! A long engagement is not a bad thing at all!

Post # 8
5109 posts
Bee Keeper

@Firemansgirl:  I have a friend that is waiting that long and I don’t think it is weird, she’s in nursing school too. Tell them you wanna be done with school first and they should think that is a mature decision.

Post # 9
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

It took me a while to realize this, but when my coworkers tell me something I try to take it with a grain of salt! While you can’t exactly limit your contact with them, just don’t talk to them about your plans. They may be just trying to stir up drama where there isn’t any.

Good luck to you!

Post # 10
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I personally don’t get long engagements (I found nothing particular to “enjoy” about being engaged – it was just a necessary step toward getting married, which I did enjoy!), but I certainly wouldn’t comment on someone else’s choice.  Tactless people.

Post # 11
110 posts
Blushing bee

That is ridiculous! You’d think that being 22 and everything, people would be telling you you’re young and should take your time.. (that’s the spiel I got when I was your age). People are silly: you can’t win!

Post # 12
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Don’t feel weird!  I am in my last year of nursing school and we are having a 2+ year engagement so do not feel bad at all.  You are being smart and responsible and are making a wise decision. 

Post # 13
5011 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

I don’t think that’s long at all! The average length of the engagement in the USA is 15 months and it’s over 18 months in the UK. When you said “long engagement” I was thinking 3-5 years!

Post # 14
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I feel ya! We got engaged July 2011 and our wedding is August 23,2013…over two year engagement. Most people understand that my fiancé is finishing mba in NY and our wedding is in CA and that is just what worked best for US. Others have made ignorant comments how we are crazy for waiting so long etc but I just try to ignore it. Everybody’s situation is different and as pp said now we are at 292 days left and it has seriously flown SO fast I couldn’t even imagine having had our wedding this past summer haha enjoy the time you have, cherish the prolonged engagement period, and just ignore the haters, they’re always going to be there!:) 

Post # 15
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’ve already been engaged 2 and a half years, and most likely will be engaged for 2 more.  Mainly due to my ex husband refusing to get the divorce finalised, and financial  issues…which means just not having the money.

My ex husband is being awkward due to the fact he doesn’t want to tell his father we’ve seperated…and we’ve been seperated for over 3 years now.  At first I had sympathy, as we split literally the same week his late mother found out she was terminally ill with cancer…I agreed at the time not to say anything so as not to give a dying woman even more upset.  But she’s been dead nearly 2 years now…

I think being 44, people are more reluctant to say something about how long we’ve been engaged.  Best advice is to ignore it, your Fiance and I obviously have your heads screwed on. 

Post # 16
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We got engaged in December 2010, and we won’t be married until October 2013. Pretty long engagement.

No one has made snarky comments, although I did get some gentle pressure from my parents (who don’t like me and Fiance living together) asking what we were waiting for. 

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