(Closed) Sneaking off to private dinner–rude or romantic?

posted 4 years ago in Reception
Post # 31
1422 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I should also add we did join cocktail hour about halfway through before our “entrance’, I almost forgot! The day goes by so fast. We also did our pictures before the ceremony. 

Post # 32
1657 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

My husband and I did something kinda similar. We had our group photos done just after the ceremony then everyone went off to the cocktail hour. We didn’t have a bridal party so our photographs wouldn’t take very long. During our cocktail hour, we had organised for about 20 minutes to actually head back into the Chapel and had the venue bring us something small to eat together and just reflect on the day so far. We had a glass of champagne brought to us and a basket of snacks.

Then we went and had our photographs taken. Also, just before we made our entrance to dinner, we scheduled in about 10 minutes of alone time. My husband and I chilled together outside as the sun set and had a kiss and cuddle and chatted while everyone was being ushered into the dining room. 🙂 

No one ever knew that we did those things and it didn’t take us away from anything so I don’t think it’s rude x 

Post # 33
14096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it’s pretty rude for you to leave your guests and your reception to have dinner that you could, quite honestly, have with your guests.  

Post # 34
2317 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

You get to eat dinner for the rest of your life with your husband… with all your loved ones celebrating with you? Not so much 

Sure take some time out to reflect (10min alone etc) but a big data rude to this 

Post # 35
14179 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Taking some time for yourselves for a few minutes in between the ceremony and reception is one thing as is a few photos just before into perhaps the start of your cocktail hour. 

But sneaking away to have a whole dinner on your own when you are there to actually host a dinner party is pretty rude and ungracious. 

Post # 36
1758 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Malibou Lake Mountain Club

View original reply
littlebear91 :  our venue took us aside and gave us a private suit where we were able to be together for like 30 minutes alone and eat during the cocktail hour. It was FABULOUS. cause once we went down to the reception, we did not sit down at all haha. And it was nice to have a moment were we could soak everything about the ceremony in together

Post # 37
1023 posts
Bumble bee

I think it’s highly unlikely this plan will only take 20 minutes and I think it’s rude to your guests.

Post # 38
322 posts
Helper bee

It sounds really sweet to me! 

 I wound mind if I were a guest at your wedding.  

Post # 40
1239 posts
Bumble bee

i think taking a few minutes for just yourselves is a fine idea. having some food available during that time is also probably wise as many couples find themselves busy socializing during dinner. i don’t think that a ‘romantic dinner’ can be enjoyed in 20 minutes. if you scale down your expectation to a relaxed few minutes with your husband and some snacks it’ll fit within your schedule. 

Post # 41
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

It’s definitely not weird or rude. One of the first caterers that I talked to said that one of the things he does for the bride and groom is prepare them each a plate that they can eat beforehand because a lot fo times they don’t get to eat during the reception. I can’t imagine anyone paying that much attention to whether or not the bride and groom has a plate of food, especially if you’re walking around talking to people, and you guys could always just get a small plate of extra food or appetizers to eat during the reception. 

Post # 42
10627 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I think some of the problem is descriping this as ‘sneaking off’.  It’s not unusual for the bride and groom to not be present during cocktail hour.  And grabbing some food between the ceremony and reception is pretty typical too.  If you haven’t joined in yet for the reception, I don’t see this as rude.

I do think time-wise you may be pressed for a full meal though.  Appetizers sound more reasonable.

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