UPDATE: …still no ring. Sigh. I’m surprisingly upbeat about it today though. I think last weekend was my letdown weekend, and this time I had prepared myself for just a normal weekend. He only had Friday night and Saturday to spend with me, and had to leave on Sunday again for work, so I knew he hadn’t had any time to go get the ring or plan anything.
Saturday we had to go to a wedding, but we had a few hours before we needed to start getting ready, so we took my dog to the park. This park is so pretty, it is right next to the elementary school I went to, and its very close to the church we’ll be married in. We sat down in the gazebo and I mentioned to him that we’d be getting our wedding pictures taken here since the Catholic church is pretty on the inside but has no landscaping or pretty green areas to speak of. He got excited and we started matching his groomsmen to my bridesmaids and really talked about wedding details, including flowers and colors. He knows I’ve been planning, because he gave me the green light last spring when I was freaking out about running out of time. We set our date in February, so I have a lot done… more than he knows I have done, haha.
Then he brought up the ring. He used that dreaded “soon” word again. I had been so excited talking about wedding details and it all came to a halt when I heard that stupid word… soon. What in the hell does that mean anyways? Soon to some people may be a year, but soon to me means like next week. Erg. He even told me that he had been planning for August, but it has just been a busy month, so it’ll have to be September. I told him I don’t want to talk about the ring anymore at all until it is on my finger. I could tell that made him a little sad, and he said he’s sorry he’s been making me wait and that I’ve been having to keep a big secret from my mom. The part that makes me feel bad is that I know his reasons for making me wait are financial. He wants to put half down on the ring, and have it paid off by next spring. I told him its not even a big deal if I don’t get the ring we picked out together. I just picked out one I liked and he loved it too so we decided on it. Its not like either of us are going to break the bank on this thing, we just haven’t been saving like we should this summer. We went on a trip over the 4th of July and he was the best man in a wedding last month that ended up being pretty expensive. Anyway, while we were at the park we ended up talking pretty in depth about the wedding, and it was a pretty upbeat talk with just a few tinges of sad since I want to be patient and not pressure him, but I’m also feeling sooooo anxious. Then we had the wedding to go to (grrr)…
*sidenote: this girl who got married was a friend of mine in college. I introduced her to my friends and boyfriend at the time because she had just transferred and didn’t know anyone. A year later I decided to move to Colorado to finish college. The boyfriend and I decided not to pursue anything long distance, but to remain friends. A week later I see on facebook that those two had started dating. They dated for a year and he broke her heart. Muaaahh haa haa. Fast forward not speaking for about 4 years, we’d both been out of college for a couple years and she started a photography business. I have a design degree and I started designing wedding albums with her. Neither of us ever brought up the ex boyfriend we had in common. I sarted dating my BF during all this, and she had a different one every week. Then she met the one she married on Saturday. The only things I had heard from her about him is that he’s kind of clingy, his dad is very rich, and she can’t stand to have him touch her. Then he proposed. She said yes. I ranted to my BF about how incredibly messed up it was.
So, the wedding on Saturday can only be described as an incredibly awkward affair. We left after the ceremony and skipped the reception. Rude, I know. I felt so weird introducing him as my boyfriend. I felt like everyone was married or married with babies, and here I was with my boyfriend after we mixed up a drink to chug in the car before the wedding to make it less painful. It was honestly way less miserable than I thought it would be, because it made me realize that these people were all so caught up in appearing perfect and happy. I like that Mr. Aberry and I still have fun and plan for our future, but it never gets too heavy between us.
After the wedding, our plan was to head to the fair, but it started raining. We met up with two of his sisters and his brother in law for supper instead. I have this really cool ring I wear on my left midde finger… I may attach a picture so you can see how cool it is! His sisters were sitting across from me, and one says really loud, “Let me see your ring!”. His other sister started bouncing and squealed a little, but then realized we were talking about my boring middle finger ring. I looked over at Mr. Aberry and winked. He winked back, so I think that was a good sign. I was worried I’d look over there and see him drowning in a pile of sweat. After everyone settled down, his little sister says, “Damn, I got so excited cuz I thought he FINALLY got you a ring!”. At least I have the sisters on my side. 🙂
He left Sunday morning and I cried. He promised me that its not always going to be this way and he’s going to have a job in town within our first year of marriage. Yay! He also told me not to snoop around the phone records this week, because there just may be a call to the jewelry store. Um, if that’s not an invitation to snoop, I don’t know what is. I’m not going to do it though, that would only make me (more) obsessive.
To top the whole friggin weekend off, he calls me last night to tell me that his sister (he has 4 sisters) called and said she had a dream that we were planning a wedding for August and everyone knew but her, and she found out when we called her from Vegas to tell her that we were married. I told him she needs to dream about the winning Powerball numbers then give me a call. He says, “Little does she know that in about two weeks its all going to be out in the open!”. Ummm… I did the math, and two weeks from now is a weekend that he’ll be gone working. This weekend he gets to come home on Thursday night and doesn’t have to leave until Tuesday, so I’m mildly suspicious since he’ll have more time. He told me to plan something fun for Friday or Saturday since we have to go to his parents house on Sunday and stay through until Monday. This might be a good weekend, but I’m not betting on it. I’m a little numb to the excited feeling I used to get when he’d lead me on with the “soon” word. I feel like Cuba Gooding Jr. on Jerry Maguire shouting, “SHOW ME THE MONEY!”
Well, if that’s not a play by play of my anticlimactic weekend, I don’t know what is. Thanks to those of you who managed to get through it all without a few cups of coffee. If anything, the highlight of my weekeend was being able to drink some of our “apple pie” cocktail that we made for the wedding he was the best man in that I suffered through a few weeks ago. If anyone is looking for a good fall drink, or just something to make you less irritable when you look at your naked left ring finger, I’d recommend it. 🙂
I’m attaching a picture of the ring that caused the stir with his sisters at dinner on Saturday night, just because its a cool ring. 🙂 I hope you guys had a good weekend!