(Closed) Snobby Bitch? Vent

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7366 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Making different choices than your sister did, in and of itself, does not make you snobby.  But you didn’t mention who is paying for your wedding?  If you are paying for it- then you can have any kind of wedding you desire.  But if you are expecting your family to pay for a more expensive wedding that is not necessarily their taste… then you might have a problem.  More info please!

Post # 5
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Are you spending a lot more than your sister did?  You said that you aren’t having an $80,000 wedding or even a $30,000 wedding, but then you said “why is it that I dont deserve a $150k wedding?”  I’m just trying to understand what you are asking your parents for so I can try to give some advice.

If you are trying to spend more, maybe your parents have a cap on what they want to spend and they don’t want to tell you they can’t spend more than that, so they are trying to find ways to make you lower the cost so they can cover more for you.  But I need more info first.

Post # 6
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I feel like as long as you’re not expecting them to pay for your wedding, you should be able to spend what you want! My wedding was way less expensive then my brothers, but that’s my style. It in no way makes my brother and sil snobby, we just had different priorities.

Post # 7
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

well i’m a little confused because first you say 

but really Im not trying to throw an $80,000 wedding… Im not even trying to throw a $30,000 wedding… which makes it sound like you’re keeping it to a budget but then you say

why is it that I dont deserve a $150k wedding?

so i’m confused here.  are you going for budget or expensive? do they think you’re a snob because you only want high ticket items?  or are you a snob because you don’t want the traditional wedding they are used to?  it kind of sounds like this is more about money… and if you have the means to pay for it yourself then great.  It would definitely not be fair to expect others to pay when it’s you who has the expensive tastes.  I am getting the feeling that you want expensive things just for the reason that they are expensive… which in the end is a waste.  weddings are about love and family and joy, not about how much you can squeeze out of your wallet.  If I am wrong, sorry!  like i said i’m a bit confused but this is the feeling i’m getting from your post as it is.  If that’s where your priorities are I can see where they’d have an issue but as long as you’re picking up the tab yourself then they shouldn’t try to put you down.  it’s your choice how you want to waste, i mean spend your money. 😉

Post # 10
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If you want to throw a 300K wedding for yourself, then throw one for yourself. It’s NOT your parents’ responsiblity to pay for your wedding. You’re a grown woman that is acting like a spoiled little 6 year old girl. Some women aren’t so lucky to have such caring parents pay for some (or all) of the wedding ceremony. Be grateful that they are paying 12K for your wedding! So they paid 15K for your sister’s wedding? That’s ONLY a difference of 3K. Do you not have 3K in your savings? You feel like you have “second child syndrome”? It sounds like this issue goes way deeper than the cost of your wedding.

Please don’t take your parents for granted. Be grateful that both parents are alive, well, and can actually witness you get married.

Post # 12
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree 100% with NATO, I don’t think you are being snobby, but Ido think you are acting a little…spoiled brat-ish?

Post # 13
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@NATO: A little harsh, but true. Your parents don’t have to help you out at all, OP–be glad they’ve offered 12k. That is an EXTREMELY generous gift.

Post # 14
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@eseds – Yes, I was harsh and I apologize for it, but I do not apologize for being truthful in my initial message.  My father is sick (he needs a heart transplant) and I fear that he may not live long enough to see my wedding day.  So when I hear someone venting about how her parents wont pay ‘X’ amount on her wedding, it does not sit well with me.  I hope you realize (sooner rather than later) just how lucky you are to have such great parents.  Please start to be appreciative that they love you, they are in good health, and they have the means to pay 12K for your wedding!  You ARE a lucky woman! 

Post # 15
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t think you are being snobby or spoiled. It is difficult to deal with siblings and expectations based on what siblings have done in the past. It sucks if your sister was treated differently, but there may not be anything that you can do about it. Your parents don’t have to pay for anything and it’s generous that they are. I would just try to focus on the wedding you want and control what you can. Don’t worry about what your sister did or what she got from your parents. Everyone is different and even though it’s cruel, siblings aren’t the same and aren’t always treated equally. 

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