(Closed) "snooped" in my husband's history, and saw match.com searches

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
315 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Ohh wow. I totally look at my FIs browser history! If I saw that he’d been looking at match.com I would defnitiely ask him what that’s about! I would just say out straight, “hey I saw you were looking on match.com…what’s that about”? My FI and I are very good at communicating so personally I’d have no problem just bringing it up. Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

His brother would want him to find matches for him, or is this a liberty he has taken upon himself?

Regardless, something smells funny, and I think you should just talk about! I know confrontation sucks, but if you avoid really important stuff, it could lead to devastating things in the future! 

Hope its nothing, and everything is okay!

Post # 5
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Maybe you should start with “so hey, is your brother moving into town?”  Then if he says no, say oh that’s interesting because I noticed…that way if something is going on he’s already screwed himself out of that lie…

Post # 6
Member
8122 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Maybe he knows you snoop? Just a theory!

Post # 7
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well… the whole “I trust him but I search his internet history on a regular basis even though I have no actual reason to suspect he’s cheating on me” is a GINORMOUS contradiction.  Can you be honest with yourself here? You don’t trust him. Or you wouldn’t be looking to catch him in something like this. 

On to the match.com thing -it might be something awful, and it might (and likely is) nothing. I look through those just for fun sometimes, or to find a dude from HS because a friend says she saw his profile. So ask yourself now, will you feel like an absolute idiot if he says “yeah I was looking for fun/ for a friend/ some other completely reasonable explanation – and PS why are you snooping on me?”  Or do you feel like its worth confronting him?

If you bring this up – you will need to confront the fact that you don’t trust him.  There’s no way around that.  So its really up to you to decide if you want to go down that road.

 

Post # 8
Member
2578 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would be like WTF??

I would also talk with him about what you had found, and see what response he comes up with when put on the spot..

Post # 9
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’ll admit, I’ve totally looked at profiles before for various reasons. There’s been times when I’ve seen the ad on the side of the screen and thought the picture was funny then I just kept going. I wasn’t looking for anything, I wasn’t even that curious, just bored. 

Post # 11
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I agree with some of the other ladies, its probably nothing.  I occasionally look at profiles for fun or because im bored.  I am completely commited to my FI, its just for fun!

Post # 12
Member
9826 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

“Hey, how’s the Match.com search going? Anything I can do to help?”

 

Post # 13
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Honestly, you don’t trust him on every level if you’re snooping. I would be concerned if there’s any communication, but other than that, it’s probably just browsing to browse.

Post # 14
Member
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

[content moderated for snark]

Post # 16
Member
2872 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@KatyElle:  ahahahaha that’s why i always love your posts…

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