(Closed) "snooped" in my husband's history, and saw match.com searches

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 47
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

View original reply
@CanadianMermaid:  what! i think that would be a little much for this point in time (since she doesnt know yet what he was doing), but if she found that he had been messaging women, then i agree…that would be an awesome surprise for him when he got home!

Post # 48
Member
1445 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

View original reply
@KatyElle:  rofl.

Yeah, I don’t think I would say anything. 1) I would be very upset if I found out my DH was checking my search history, and 2) I check stuff like Match.com just for fun. If you have no other reason to not trust him, I would let it go.

Post # 49
Member
4304 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would confront him immediately.

The only reason I am saying that is because if you don’t… what do you do?  I know.  You’ll be back on his Internet history every chance you get.

I have no idea why a married man would be curious about what’s on match.com, it really boggles my mind.  There’s really no excuse for it.  We all know what the website is for, and I don’t care if you are curious or not, unless you are doing it with your wife, it’s totally disrespectful.

Post # 50
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

View original reply
@soyjoy222:  I admit.. a little dramatic. I meant it as a worst case scenario option 🙂 

Post # 51
Member
2738 posts
Sugar bee

Okay, hmmm, how to say this? I have a friend who has been having problems with match.com. She wanted me to check her pictures and profile etc so she gave me her log in name and password and I’ve gone through her profile and edited it. Suggested pictures we’ve taken together etc. I’ve also gone in to see the guys she searched for. I’ve pointed her to some obvious guys she could have ‘messaged’. Funny enough, I didn’t tell DH about this. Sometimes when I talk about my friends, he does tune out. SwearToGod! Now I just thought to myself, if DH had gone to my computer and seen this, he would probably be ‘wtf’ especially since I didn’t mention it to him. Shall do so when he gets back from work tonight.

Post # 52
Member
945 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You should make a profile on the site and see if he finds it haha 

Post # 53
Member
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’ve sometimes searched on match because a friend would tell me to check out someone’s profile, or tell me that someone we both know is on there, so I’d be curious and check it out.  Definitely not cruising for men!  It’s probably a similar case with your SO.

Post # 54
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@MissTaken:  ‘I want to ask him about this, but I’m not sure how to bring it up. I’m not a good communicator and I don’t like confrontation…’

This is not something to ignore or not bring up. My feeling is that you are not ‘allowed’ to be a poor communicator in a marriage. I’m sure it is nothing but you can’t just not mention it. Think of it as a skill-building opportunity. You bring it up calmly, ask your questions and listen the the explanation. 

Post # 55
Member
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I once wrote a paper on human mating habits ranging from face-to-face habits to online habits for a Sexual Psychology class. Well, this was before I met my SO, and it required me to look at a LOT of online dating profiles: men, women, transgendered, gay, etc.

And the majority of them were HILARIOUS. I considered a good Friday night eating Chinese and reading these profiles.

When I finished the paper, and met my SO, I obviously didn’t spend as much time looking at profiles, but from time to time, I still go to craigslist and have a good laugh. My SO knows this, and we laugh at the funniest ones I relay back to him. Sometimes I just keep them to myself. (We don’t live together.)

If everything about your relationship is completely fine, I would give him the benefit of the doubt. If not, then maybe something is up.

Post # 56
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would bring it up and ask him why he is looking on there. He will more than likely say for his brother, but i dont think there is any reason he should be looking for his brother. I dont think you have trust issues, all girls snoop.

Post # 58
Member
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ugh so sorry you saw that. I’ve been there before with an ex. It’s the worst feeling in the world. Definitely bring it up and see how he reacts – don’t ignore your gut feelings if he is BS-ing you about it being for his brother.  My ex denied he paid for it and talked to girls on it for dayssss even up to the point I made him sign in and saw that just hours before he had been messaging back and forth with someone!  He was still trying to say he wasn’t talking to anyone!  Ugh, so sorry again. I hope there’s a good explanation for this.

Post # 59
Member
8036 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@MissTaken:  I’d be honest about why you do this, and admit to him that maybe it’s something you should not be doing (although I really don’t see the harm personally). It’s not like you really expected to find anything, by the sounds of it.

I won’t jump to the whole “omg he is thinking of cheating on you” conclusion. It’s possible, but not necessarily true. Maybe he was just bored and browsing. I’ve been known to go to weird sites when my mind wanders. I don’t know, maybe he wanted to see if one of his friends was on there or if he recognized anyone, or something. I know some people will say “yeah right”… but stranger things have happened.

All I know is you must talk to him about this or things will get worse. He does owe you an explanation. Hopefully it’s nothing but if he becomes defensive, I’d be a worried. You could even say you were trying to get back to a site you visited the other day (like if you share the computer, I don’t know) and stumbled upon it if you’re worried about admitting to snooping.

Post # 60
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

if it is a computer that you both use on a regular basis, then I don’t even think that looking at his browsing history is snooping.  if you hacked into his email and read it, yes, that’s pretty  snoopy. but browsing history? that’s “public” info in the household, as far as I’m concerned. if he had something to hide, he would have deleted it. 

as for match.com — honestly, I would give him the benefit of the doubt. as others have said, sometimes it’s fun to browse these things. I love looking at craigslist ads to pass the time when I’m bored. 

the only thing that worries me is using his brother as an excuse. that sounds pretty lame to me. does his brother not know how to use the internet? (or is it that his brother asked him to look at profiles together with him to give his opinion on some girls?)

Post # 61
Member
2393 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
@CanadianMermaid:  

Print off 8×10 head shots and leave them on the table.

 

This is my absolute favorite response! ROFL. I can totally see myself doing something like this if I were in OP’s shoes. Haha!

 

 

The topic ‘"snooped" in my husband's history, and saw match.com searches’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors