(Closed) "snooped" in my husband's history, and saw match.com searches

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 62
Member
69 posts
Worker bee

So sorry for what you are going through.. I hope for you that it is not bad news when you do confront him.  Hugs

Post # 63
Member
2393 posts
Buzzing bee

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@MissTaken:  

So I’m sure if he was cheating, he wouldnt be THAT DUMB to leave it up, right?

 

You’d be surprised.

I would love to be wrong on this.

I’m 50 so I’m guessing I’m a lot older than you… I’ve seen men do some pretty amazing things in my time.

Post # 64
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@Andr0meda:  I agree, you’d be surprised…eventually cheaters get sloppy and think they will not get caught and stop covering their tracks.

OP, a lot of people have posted and said they do similar things. I doubt you have anything to worry about. Still bring it up, though, because you dont want to worry and keep all these feelings to yourself.

Post # 65
Member
6033 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

ok some of these responses here remind me of that part in “he’s just not that into you” where they make up excuses as to what could be going on just to make it seem like nothing. this is something and it needs to be addressed. Period. Grow a pair and ask him about it. There would be no hesitation for me whatsoever. His brother is a big boy and does not need his married brother going on match.com for him. Which actually doesn’t even make sense since he searched in your home city not his brothers. And while i do not condone snooping, the fact of the matter is you did, and you found something. Don’t ignore it.

Its your choice to either believe whatever answer he gives you or not but I would be highly suspicious. Be smart.

Post # 66
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m not saying he’s definitely cheating either but I think we need to look at the fact that he’s not a woman…I think women go on there and laugh at profiles…but do we really think that’s how men spend their time?

Post # 68
Member
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

View original reply
@MissTaken:  

Feels good to get it out though right?

Post # 69
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

YAY!!

Post # 70
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee

Good for you, OP. I’m glad that’s resolved. 😉 Beats saying nothing and going nuts playing out 100s of different scenarios in your head, only to end up more upset.

Post # 71
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

Good! It could have been worse. :]

Post # 72
Member
1281 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@MissTaken:  Sounds like his brother needs to put his big boy pants on and find himself a woman! 

Post # 73
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@GoldfishPie:  Hah! I wish there was a “like” button on here.

Post # 74
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Glad this turned out to have a simple explanation. For what it’s worth I have been in your husband’s situation with a friend who is on Match and some other sites that donT’ require paid membership. I even made an account on one so I could see complete profiles of potential dates for her. We chatted on the phone and she totalyl gave me permission to suggest potential dates. Most of the profiles I looked at were in her city but my next step was to check profiles in my city. Not for her, she’s not moving but because they start selecting them in the side bar (I’m sure based on GPS data) and then I wondered if I would find anyone I knew IRL on there. Ok Cupid still sneds me emails every 3 months or so inviting me to come back and if Fiance were to snoop, he’d see that I have a profile. BUT I never used it for dating. I say this because there is another side to every story. Snooping does not pay if it makes you nervous over nothing. 

Post # 75
Member
6033 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

Well good for you that you guys came to a conclusion that you can both be ok with.

He’s lucky though that you are much kinder than I. I would have made it clear he has no business on match.com. period. not even for his brother. His brother can find one of his unmarried friends or whoever to help him shop around for girls. its inappropriate and I hope you put your foot down. either way, good luck!

Post # 76
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’d be pissed if I saw that. No reason for him to look at match even for his brother. His brother is a big boy.

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