Post # 1
My Fiance and I are recently engaged (YAY) and are planning our wedding for next January in the Pacific Northwest. I love the idea of a rustic winter snow wedding and so does my fiance (we got engaged in the snow). The main snag here is that a winter wedding requires our guests to go over the Mountain Pass. My mom isn’t keen on the idea of a snow wedding and insists that people may not come at all or may not make it up to the pass because of closures and that it would be a disaster.
Do I appease the family who wants the wedding to stay local which limits my indoor venue options to hotels and standard ballrooms or do what I want and tell them to tough it out?
Post # 2
YOUR wedding. your day. its really up to you.
where would it be if it was local?
Post # 3
That is the tough part, local is hard to get a rustic vibe since most farm or lodge style weddings in the seattle/snohomish area are outdoor venues. So that leaves my options pretty limited to hotels.
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2019 - City, State
gingerkitty: if the wedding isn’t just the couple like an elopement than no, sorry, the wedding isn’t just about the OP and her Fiance. If they expect guests, it is very much about the guests and their comfort as well.
bbaugh08: I think you need to decide what’s important to you. If you really have yoru heart set on this location for your wedding, than you have to accept that not everyone will be able to or want to come to your wedding. So is that location that important to you? if so, go for it! I would also consider the safety of my guests if I were you. I wouldn’t feel right asking my guests to risk their own safety to try and attend my wedding in a hard to get to location just for the sake of snow and a pretty background. This is all about priorities I guess. My guests are the most important part of my wedding day aside from, you know, getting married lol but maybe to you having a snowy wedding day in nature where you can tie it to your engagement day is most important. Either is just fine but if you choose to go ahead with your location, just be ready to gracefully accept declines should people not want to deal with the snow and cold and travel.
Post # 5
Normally I’d say do whatever you want, but if you are talking about a possible situation where there could be road closures, stormy weather, etc., then I would say to try to make it easy for your guests OR realize that if weather is bad, people won’t come. Winter weather conditions can make driving really dangerous and I’d hate for something bad to happen.
Post # 6
I can’t tell you what you should do but I can tell you what we did. We wanted the snow lodge wedding in the mountains in the middle of winter as well since we live close to them and spend most of our weekends heading out to them. Our families live on the West Coast and after considering transportation and the mountain passes, we decided against it. It was either going to put our families in danger or cost them a lot of money. After all there is a reason we don’t drive home for Christmas. So we had our wedding in the middle of August on the West Coast in our hometown. I’m ambivalent about the situation and kind of wish we just went ahead with the winter wedding. It’s a tough decision no doubt.
Post # 7
Im in an almost identical predicament. The only difference is we live on the west coast and travel up to the mountains regularly.
if you had the chance to do your wedding over would you have it in the snow?
Post # 8
How important is it for you to have them there? Will they be missed if unable to make it? If the venue is more important than potentially missing family members then go for it!
Post # 9
Do you need to have the wedding in January? If not, could you use one of the ‘rustic’ local venues in a warmer month?
I wouldn’t ever want to plan a wedding knowing that there’s a good chance no one (bride and groom included!) could attend due to storms/weather/road closures. Sure this can happen anytime, but purposely picking a venue that is known to have road closures at the time of year you’re wanting to do it would make me crazy!
Also, if you do go ahead with this- maybe budget in transport for the guests? As a New Yorker now living in the south, there are people who CAN drive in snow and people who CAN’T, and those who can’t are dangerous to themselves and others, because they think they CAN!! Plus- icy mountain roads + late evening+ alcohol = bad idea!
Post # 10
bbaugh08: You can have it where you want but be prepared for some people not to come if its a destination (which sounds like in the mountains would be). Make sure your VIPs are good with whatever you choose.
Post # 11
bbaugh08: I’d come lol, I love snow It’s a toughie but it is also your dream day 🙂
Post # 12
bbaugh08: I think it sounds awesome, because I love snow, and the wedding photographer in me visualizes gorgeous snowy wedding photos. 🙂 That being said you need to weigh the options and think about how important some of those key players are to you. Would you be really upset if people didn’t come? If so, maybe consider the same venue just in a summer/fall date? Is a shuttle service an option? Maybe a 16 passenger van w/ a driver to transport guests to the venue? I can totally understand their concern, because if they are people who do not drive in snow it can be a scary thought. I live in a non-show area, although Darling Husband and I are avid skiers and love to go to snowy places. He does all the driving because he grew up in an area that got snow, I grew up in the south. 😉
Post # 13
Would you be happy with the wedding of your dreams if the pass was closed and your parents were unable to make it?
What is your Plan B if the pass is closed and the two of you can’t make it? Does your venue offer a weather/road refund?
Post # 14
bbaugh08: I agree with your mom. To me it wouldn’t be worth the risk of someone sliding off the road. And yes, I’m aware that anyone could die on their way to any wedding. But I think we can agree that it’s more likely to happen to someone driving through mountains in the snow. And I know that lots of people live in the mountains and have weddings and other events as part of their regular lives. But I think we can agree that having your wedding in a risky location because that’s where you and your family live is different than having it in a risky location because you like how it looks. I would not be willing to gamble the lives of my nearest and dearest like that.
If I were invited to a wedding that required driving though mountains in snow, I would not “tough it out.” I would decline. The only people I would even attempt to make that trip for are my own kids. There is no friend I’d do it for, not my parents, not my siblings, not my beloved nieces and nephews. I’m not literally risking my life because someone wanted snowy pictures.
Post # 15
Daisy_Mae: I am with you on this. I have only driven in the mountains during with Winter one time and as Jesus is my witness there is absolutely NO ONE I would do that for again. Not even my kids. It was terrifying. I hate driving in the mountains during nice weather – Winter just won’t happen ever again.
OP – when you say snow wedding you do mean indoors, right?
You are talking safety issues here so you should not be telling any of them to “tough it out.” In the big picture you have to decide what your priority is here. A Winters snow wedding with very few people there or a wedding with no safety issues that everyone can attend. At the end of the day you need to be happy with your decision – which ever one you make.
If you go ahead with this you need to be very gracious about every decline you get and not get an attitude if you have a low turnout. Like I said, even if you were my daughter, I would not be driving in the mountains in the Winter.