(Closed) SO am I being selfish?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t think you’re being selfish.  The bottom line is that with any wedding, some people are going to be able to come and some are not.  Destination weddings make that even more true.  I have friends who got married on a cruise last year when their son was 3 months old and took him with them.  Her parents held the baby during the wedding etc.  So it could be done.  But everyone is different and she may not want to deal with all of that having a new baby at home.  You just really need to descide what is best for you and your Fiance.  There’s no guarentees she’ll be able to come even if you do push it back (babies get sick etc), so keep that in mind as well.

Post # 4
Member
3521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Hell no! It’s your wedding. You don’t have to change your date for anyone.

Post # 5
Member
31 posts
Newbee

No, if you try to please everybody you will end up being unhappy. It’s your day! We are having a destination wedding and we understood that this meant that some people (most people) would not be able to make the trip. Choose something you will love and commit to it!

Post # 6
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Why don’t you talk to your sister about it and not your mom? Maybe she’s fine with it?

Personally, I’d really want my sister there.

Post # 7
Member
7494 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

You can’t please everyone.  And, assuming the baby is healhty, your sister could probably bring the baby.  Puerto Rico IS part of the United States, not some foreign land.  I have known several people who flew around that time in their child’s life with the pediatrican’s permission.

Post # 8
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

FYI if she is planning to breast feed, it’s very tough to leave her baby for that time (and may get the baby onto a bottle – even with breast milk – much sooner than desired).  Obviously this isn’t something you need to plan around, I just tell you this so you can be aware and sensitive to some of the issues.

Post # 9
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

sounds like you are being perfectly reasonable to me. and besides, november 6 is my birthday so keep it there. :p

Post # 10
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I can completely relate to you!  Fiance and I were wanting a destination wedding but have been made to feel guilty for making it costly for our guests to go.  We sort of looked at places stateside, but none of them have the same appeal to them as having it in some exotic place–a place that we both really enjoyed when we last visited.  Anyway, I’m in that tight spot where I want to elope just so I don’t have to “burden” anyone with my wedding.  Sucks to have to think that way–that us getting married is a “burden” for other people!  Anyway, I was bummed that people weren’t as supportive, but there have been a few who have been telling me that it’s our wedding and we should do what we want.  Even many of the Bees in this hive have told me that.

Regardling your situation, you can’t put your life on hold because of someone else’s!  If you let your other people’s situation dictate how you plan your life, you’re never going to be able to live your own life because something is always going to come up.

People travel all the time with kids and babies.  It’s not unheard of. 

Post # 11
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Honestly, nothing will work for everyone!! We were considering a destination wedding of which we got the semi guilt trip. So we ended up deciding to have the wedding in NYC where we live, and now people are complaing about parking and driving in the city even though most of the guest are from Jersey. People will always find something to complain about, just do what you want!!!

Post # 12
Member
1033 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

No, I don’t think you are being selfish at all. You have been more than accommodating. People are always going to find something to complain about.

Do what makes you happy! 

Post # 13
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Its really hard to get eveyone to agree, but at the end of the day you and Fi need to be happy. So if having your sister there makes you happy you may want to push it back, or if having a reception only close by makes you happy do that. Whats most important is that you and your Fiance will be married, do it how you want it. Good luck!

Post # 14
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Plan your wedding for whenever and however you want.  Accept the fact that some people (including your sister) may not be able to attend (this will happen no matter what).  Have a big party later for those people.  Move on.

Post # 15
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I don’t think you’re being selfish at all.  You’ll never be able to please everyone, and there will probably always be some conflict. 

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