Post # 1
Member
38 posts
Newbee
Hey bees – this is my first OP! I’ve been a fairly long time enthusiastic lurker (especially on the ring boards) and I’m pretty excited to join the community in a more meaningful way.
BUT.
I’m not sure whether I actually count as waiting. I rather think not, but I’d love your opinions/support/stories/whatever. Backstory: SO and I have been together for 1.5 years, living together for about half of that, and we have discussed marriage fairly regularly. SO, being a total baller, has been very honest and said she’s not ready because she wants to be absolutely sure that I’m the person she wants to spend the rest of her life with. (She’s so smart <3) But anyways, despite this we’ve basically set a budget (5000 – considering how big our families are, this is pretty much not gonna happen), planned the general type of wedding we want (pretty chill), and she asked me (perhaps jokingly) to send her my ring preferences (which I did enthusiastically and with great detail).
So… what does this mean? We can’t really get married right now anyways because we’re both in school and there’s money issues, and I would feel silly saving up for a wedding if we weren’t engaged.
Thoughts?
Post # 3
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
Sounds like you both are on the same page, and are just waiting for the timing to be right to have the wedding you want. So I’d say you’re waiting together : ) Most people can’t get married exactly when they want to for one reason or another (usually $!)
Post # 4
Member
38 posts
Newbee
@VioletSky: Thanks for the feedback 🙂 I think you’re right – waiting together is a great way to put it! Hopefully I’ll get more funding when I start my PhD and then the $$ will be less of an issue.
Post # 5
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
At 1.5 years I didn’t want to get married, even though I knew my hubby was the one. I didn’t have any desire to get married till about 4 yrs…we got engaged at 5, married at 6. As long as you’re both being honest about how you feel and communicate your expectations, then just enjoy the present. It sounds like she wants to get married, she just wants to wait a little longer, which at 1.5 years I think is totally normal and nothing to worry about : )
Post # 6
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo
I didn’t really consider myself waiting until I finished uni and then the feeling got stronger after our 2nd anniversary and then again after I moved in, and I’m sure it’ll get stronger again after our 2.5 years when I tell him I’m not going to wait around forever and will propose to him if I have to. Lol
Defining “waiting” is kind of a personal thing, another girl might not consider herself waiting if she were in your or my position. I think on some level you are waiting but you’re fortunate enough to still have goals you want to achieve before you really start thinking about it.
I really like that the two of you are so open with each otherand in places where you’re both satisfied 🙂 all the best!
Post # 7
Member
38 posts
Newbee
Thanks guys! Yeah, our relationship is awesome, and we talk about everything very openly – which is a very good thing since I have mental health issues, and it’s so much easier to handle when she knows what’s going on. I’m just the kind of person who likes to know where I stand in a situation. Right now I’m trying to channel my inner zen and focus on being happy instead of becoming engaged. 🙂