(Closed) SO and my very different views on engagement rings

posted 4 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
28 posts
Newbee

I tihnk your ring will mean so much more if you incorporated your mother’s stone. As far as the difference in opinion, it is YOUR ring- forever. Choose what YOU love the most, you will be wearing it for a very, very long time. The right one will feel right.

Post # 3
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: South Lodge. 2nd of Dec 2017

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kafy97:  very simply, i said babe I will wear my ring, every day for the rest of my life, please can I design it.  He agreed.   Talk to him, explain calmly why, he loves you he will understand, men just take a while to get it. 

Post # 5
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Guy chiming in. Her style wasn’t the style I liked. She liked simple, I liked more complex designs. But I’m not the one wearing it. And when she looks at it I want her to think about how perfect it is and how perfect I am for getting her the perfect ring. I do NOT want her thinking “he got what he wanted for me instead of what I wanted.”

 

How did we solve it? I came to my senses and realized it wasn’t my ring. For me I thought about it in terms of cars. We have different tastes in cars. If she were buying me a car would I want her to get the kind she likes, or would I want her to buy me the car I like? That answer was easy – I would want her to buy me the car type I like. Just like she wants me to get her the kind of ring she wants, even if I am not a huge fan of the style.

 

With all that said. As soon as I picked up the ring I loved it and would have regretted so much getting anything else!

Post # 7
Member
1359 posts
Bumble bee

I went in saying I wanted a standalone center stone with diamonds on the shank; Fiance thought a halo would with a plain shank would look good. We both preferred rose gold. We, too were using an heirloom stone.

Well, wouldn’t you know, after we tried on every ring under the sun, my FI’s original vision was right! It totally blew me away when we found “the one” and I’m so glad we looked at all options.

That said, had I been completely set on my original idea, Fiance would have gone along with it because he wanted me to be happy. He only gave his input because I wanted it, and I’m so glad I asked for it! 

Post # 8
Member
3986 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

My husband said had my ring been completely up to him he’d have proposed with a round solitaire because he likes how classic they are. I knew I wanted a rectangular stone with a halo. He ended up getting what I wanted and he loves my ring because I love it. He’s very proud of it. You’re the one who is wearing it. It should reflect your taste too. 

Post # 11
Member
5362 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

My husband is wayyy more simple than me and wanted me to have a plain shank. Ive lost both of my parents and he’s lost his mom so I wanted to include their diamonds in my setting. Even though he liked simple, he knew I was going to be the one wearing it forever, so I have a ring covered with diamonds! We are pretty equal about everything, but he didn’t care what the finished product was, as long as I loved it! Which I do, and he loves when I get compliments on it! 

Post # 13
Member
2642 posts
Sugar bee

You say you’re using your mother’s diamond – is that the cushion cut you refer to in your first post? Do you have a photo or specs on her diamond?

Post # 14
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

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kafy97:  No problem. And having a say is nice. And in the end, if he is buying it and surprising you (or making the final decision) he does have a say. In the end what the ring looks like doesn’t matter to me even just 2 weeks out from my proposal. What matters is when I get pictures from my fiancee of her with the ring, or her looking at it and it reminding her of me. How she thinks it is beyond perfect from what she ever could have imagined and that she is glad I put the thougth and time into it. That is 100x more valuable than what I would have gotten if I went based on my opinion alone. Knowing she is 120% satisfied with it means way more now after the fact than what it looks like, which mattered a lot more when I was shopping.

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