(Closed) SO and texting

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Unless it’s his mom or sister, heck no. 

But, I guess it also depends on the circumstances. I’m with my Darling Husband a lot…so he doesn’t really have the chance to text me. But if he’s with me and spending most of his time texting someone else. We would have a problem on our hands. 

Post # 4
Member
1128 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Yeah I would not like that at all….

Post # 5
Member
4160 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Hmm…I’m pretty easy going and wouldn’t care if my husband was texting female friends HOWEVER if it was taking time away from our own conversations, or if he was ignoring you in the process…it would be a definite issue.  Have you spoken to him about it yet?

Post # 6
Member
9691 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

No, I wouldn’t like it and I would talk to him about it, but it would also depend on the circumstances.  Can you provide more details?  Who is the woman, and what are they texting about? 

Post # 7
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

What are they texting about? Have you met her?

I don’t see how I’d find out because I don’t check DHs phone but as long as they weren’t sexting I think I’d be ok with it.

Post # 8
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I will say it would bother me. But in all honesty, I text his best friend (has become my best friend) as often as I text my Darling Husband. So I would be a complete hypocrite.

Post # 9
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

If there is a specific reason for it then I would understand but if thats just the norm that he always texts her constantly I wouldnt understand that at all

Post # 10
Member
2759 posts
Sugar bee

There are so many different variables, it’s impossible to say “no” just based on the fact that she’s female.

My Fiance has way more female friends than male. His best friend, in fact, is a girl – they’ve known each other more than three times as long as we have. He IMs her all the time, they hang out when he visits home without me, and he texts her as well. Do I care? Not in the least. Why should I? There’s no history, and I have tons of guy friends that I wouldn’t want him to prevent me from talking to.

Post # 11
Member
6019 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

im generally pretty laid back and give him free reign to make choices on who he is going to talk to and how often. He knows me well enough to know though what will bother me so we dont run into it. Plus he feels the same about it.however, I would most definitely have a problem with this. There shouldnt be any reason you could possibly have to need to text another female more than you do me. If you are away from me and can text, you should be texting me not some other chick.And even if you are it shoudlnt be nearly as much as me.  if you are away from me and i cannot text than i can see you talking with someone else if you are bored and just really wanna text, but thats what your dude friends are for. if you are with me, we dont need to text and that time should be for us or our family and texts should be kept to a minimum out of respect for that time. so really no matter what it would basically be impossible for me to be ok with this based on my general guidelines with stuff like this. more details would help me give a more specific answer but in general I would not be ok with this.

Post # 12
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Is he texting her more than you because you live together? Fiance and I barely text because we live together. If you don’t live together, I’d be pissed. He needs to figure out why he’d rather speak to her then you.

Post # 14
Member
6019 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

@Waterfall:  ok red flag with the whole being protective over his phone thing. I do not go through my SO’s phone but he also wouldnt care if i did. he would care if i was sneaky but if i asked he would hand it over with no issues. I am the same way. I fully expect that my phone be respected simply because its mine and not his but if he asked me to see it i would give it right up. If someone has to hide their phone ther eis someone they are worried about you seeing. maybe its not cheating necessarily but something inappropriate. whether it be what they talk about, porn sites on the internet history, etc. but there is something. My thinking is this, if you have to hide something you already know what you are doing is wrong, if it wasnt you wouldnt care who knew, including your SO.

Post # 15
Member
9691 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with stardustintheeyes and I also think it’s rude of him to be texting anyone while he’s supposed to be spending time with you, no matter who it is, it’s just rude.

Post # 16
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I think if it bothers you, you need to think about why.

…except for when he’s with you; I hate when I’m hanging out with people (SO or anyone else) and that person is distracted with texting, phone games, etc.

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