(Closed) So angry!! Cousin came to party to sabotage it!!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
717 posts
Busy bee

i totally understand and i’m so sorry she tried to rain all over your parade.  she has things to deal with and shouldn’t have projected that baggage on you.  that was very disrespectful, not only to you but your guests as well.  maybe talk to her about it and make it clear that she crossed the line and it is unacceptable. 

Post # 4
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

SHe embarassed herself, not you. I wouldn’t waste any more energy on her!

Post # 5
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Sorry she made your engagement party less than steller!  However, from her perspective, the engagement party was probably a little awkward for her given her situation.  And I know when I’ve felt awkward in social situations I’ve had too much to drink!  So she probably just ended up getting out of control and at the time all she could focus on was her wedding (or lack there of) and her insecurities.  So while she was totally out of line, I doubt she actually came with the intent to ruin your party.  Try to cut her a little bit of slack moving forward. 

Post # 6
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think it is totally okay for you to exclude her in this case. The people you invite to wedding festivities are people who love and support you. It sounds to me that she is jealous about your wedding and feels it is okay to disrespect you.

I would call her and try to talk to her, even though I would not invie her to any more events. Personally, I would not be okay with a family member acting this was without finding out where she is coming from.

Post # 7
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

The thing about feelings is that there is no “right” way to feel.  However, there is a right way to behave.  Obviously, your cousin missed the mark.  In a sort of similar situation, my bachelorette party was last weekend.  One of my friends came, then refused to talk to people and sat in the corner with her phone most of the night, then complained about how bored she was.  Eventually, she left with some random dude that she picked up.  Her behaviour was terrible and I’m angry with her about it.  We’ve been drifting apart for some time and I think this put the nail in the coffin.  It’s not that I’d never talk to her again, but I certainly wouldn’t seek her out.  When it comes time for her to host an event (or have one hosted in her honor), I wouldn’t be as rude as she was, but I just wouldn’t attend. 

Post # 8
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

She was out of line.  However – why invite her to an engagement party if you have no intention of inviting her to the wedding? 

Post # 9
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012


How does she typically behave around alcohol?  Was this a one-time occurrance, or does she usually get “drunk out of her mind” in social situations?  You said that you guys aren’t close anymore, and she seems to have issues with her finances.  All of these signs might point to a larger issue with substance abuse.


Post # 10
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Don’t invite her to any more stuff.

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