So annoyed about room situation on our upcoming trip

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 31
12490 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

You are not being unreasonable at all. I’d be furious that the brother’s friend did this behind your back and against your wishes. Personally, I’d suck up the extra expense and book elsewhere. Then the brother’s friend can figure out how to pay for the studio by himself.  

And yes, I’d really do that. 

Post # 32
3442 posts
Sugar bee

I mean, tell your boyfriend in private that if he wants to have sex even once during this trip, you need your own room. He’ll get it straightened out quickly.

Post # 33
47254 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

veleniza :  Find another airbnb near the first one, for your boyfriend and yourself.

Post # 34
396 posts
Helper bee

veleniza :  I don’t think you’re overreacting. I don’t like sharing rooms either. I would just make sure that you’re the one to book the room for the following days so you get exactly what you want. Just make sure it’s right around the same price range and I don’t think anyone will cause any problems. 

ETA: I saw some other suggestions that you find a different place for you and your boyfriend, and I think this is a great idea. He went against your wishes and that’s not fair to you. Find a different air bnb or hotel or whatever just for you and your boyfriend and if asked why, say that you already said you weren’t comfortable sharing a room, and they went against your wishes, so you had to find something yourself. 

Post # 36
5101 posts
Bee Keeper

veleniza :  How does he not get that you want privacy that is so annoying. I would be annoyed. Can’t you book your own room? Make the other two stay in the studio. Ugh. 

Post # 37
7048 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I’m going to a bit against the grain here. I would not outright book another place for the first 2 nights. What I’d do is say “I’m not comfortable sharing a room for the other 4 nights. Please look at 2 bedrooms, or I will book my own room for the trip.” So that gives them another warning. Then, hopefully, they book the other 4 nights in a 2 bedroom. If they don’t, “sorry, i booked my own room for the full 6 nights and will not be contributing the studio(s) that you’ve booked.”

I wouldn’t initially want to create that tension, and 2 nights I could probably survive. That said, if they disregarded my wishes a second time, it would be a no-go, and they can pay for their own accomodations (which will be twice as expensive now without the two of you).

Post # 39
7098 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I get why you are irritated, because I personally feel like I’m too old to be room sharing with a bunch of people to save money. Then again, when I travel I prefer to wait until I can afford to do it the way I want and not feel like I have to scrimp. That being said they’ve booked it – so if I were you I’d just book somewhere else for you and your Boyfriend or Best Friend to stay.

Post # 40
5846 posts
Bee Keeper

I wish Bees would stop refering to this as a guys’ vaca because it totally isn’t. It’s not like a bunch of guys were having a Bro Vaca & OP finagled her way into the mix after plans were in place. This is a FAMILY vaca with OP’s boyfriend, his brother, & their parents. Which is then being extended by the two brothers who are each being joined by another person of their choosing. The boyfriend chose OP, the brother chose a friend. The fact that this extension of the family vaca resulted in 3 guys and 1 girl does not diminish OP as a bona fide invite, she’s not a tagalong. Reading comprehension please peoples! 

Post # 41
2418 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Really? The price difference between a 2 bedroom and a studio was really only $40 a night? I am really finding that hard to believe. (That’s $80 for the 2 nights they booked).

Anyway. I happen to think you’re wrong. If 3 of the 4 are fine with the studio, then majority rules. The brother & his friend probably aren’t worried about whether you’re getting laid & just want to have a nice, budget- friendly trip. If you cost them more money on this trip than they would otherwise spend, then they’ll be unlikely to invite you the next time. 

Post # 42
3875 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

veleniza :  If you can afford it, I’d just book where you’d like to stay for just you and your Boyfriend or Best Friend that is realtively closeby where they are staying. At the very most, stay in the studio for two days, but then YOU book where YOU want to stay. It’s over and done, but going forward, if something is really important to you, it’s on you to make sure it gets done. If that were me, I wouldn’t have let someone else book the room. I would have wanted to make sure that it was done, and done correctly, but I am a type-A control freak sometimes. 

Moving forward, your Boyfriend or Best Friend may not give two shits where he sleeps, but he should be giving a shit if you are upset or uncomfortable. That’s not okay. Personally, I’m not sharing a cramped space with three guys for nearly a week. That doesn’t sound very much like a vacation to me. Privacy is very important to me and I need a place where I can come back, take a nap, truly unwind and I doubt very much of that will be happening with two other guys hanging about. How much of a money difference are we talking about for two rooms versus one? $40? $75? It would irritate me, but I’d probably just offer to pay the difference to kind of nip any more fight in the bud. 

Post # 43
626 posts
Busy bee

jannigirl :  I respectfully disagree. The same way people are entitled to set their own budgets, they’re also entitled to set their own boundaries. It might be cheaper for everyone to crash in a tent outside, but that doesn’t mean the OP can book it without the others’ consent. In the same way, they can’t demand she share a room just because they don’t want to pay more.


Post # 44
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

jannigirl :  Air BNB has a pretty wide variety of prices, so the difference in cost isn’t all that surprising or unbelievable. 


Post # 45
2418 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

happyowlbee :  Actually. Yeah. They can. If she decides that she doesn’t want to go on the trip, that’s her prerogative. Dictating that everyone pony up money to accommodate her preferences isn’t cool.  Next she’ll dictate where they eat & what activities they do… it’s a recipe for not getting invited on the next trip and getting a reputation as being high maintenence & selfish. 

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