So annoyed about room situation on our upcoming trip

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 46
Member
6442 posts
Bee Keeper

jannigirl :  If OP isn’t comfortable sharing a room with 2 other people, she is not wrong in her feelings.  she is stating she didn’t want to share a room with two people she wasn’t that familiar with, and I’m also assuming that a studio means one bathroom, meaning she is going to have to constantly use the bathroom to change.

OP: See family trip or not people still need their space.  And if I were to go on a trip with my husband and his brothers, we’d each get a separate room, because we’re each a separate unit.  And we’d each want our separate space, like IDK say I want to sleep naked, can’t do that if I’m sharing a room with other people.  And we’re family!

Post # 47
Member
1128 posts
Bumble bee

I would be very annoyed, mostly because I hate when people pretend to agree with me and then do whatever they want.  

Probably don’t do what I would do.. I would book another room for myself.

 

Edit: I read that you’re going to send suggestions for the next room that you are taking the reins on booking?

 

Lol I wouldn’t send them anything- I would book what I wanted and say this is what we’re doing.

Post # 49
Member
8251 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

veleniza :  I would book a separate room so that they know you are serious about making sure the second destination has 2-bedrooms. Friends, family, it doesn’t matter – if you don’t want to share a room and are willing to pay more to avoid it why should you have to share and make it cheaper for the other two guys? You are giving up your comfort and privacy to subsidize a vacation that seems to be out of their budget and that’s crap.

Once my in-laws booked rooms for them and us (before we were married) and expected that their other son would crash in our room with us for the last 2 nights of the trip when he joined us. I said I was not comfortable with that arrangement and that we would pay for our room ourselves if that was the expectation. Mother-In-Law knowing this took the room with one king bed for herself when we arrived and then said “well your room has two queens so that would work better for brother so he has his own bed”. I refused to budge, again said we would pay for the room ourselves because we wanted our privacy, and thankfully Darling Husband supported me. They ended up with their adult son crashing in their king bed with them. And I didn’t feel even a little bad about it. 

Post # 50
Member
626 posts
Busy bee

jannigirl :  She’s not dictating that others pony up to cover her preferences, though. She’s just saying that for her, sharing a bedroom room with three guys isn’t a comfortable option. The guys are welcome to continue to search within their price range, they just can’t demand she share a bedroom with them unless she agrees to it. 

I am not sure why you make the leap to dictating food and activities, but there’s nothing in the post to suggest that is the case. And there is certainly nothing high maintenance or selfish about being uncomfortable sleeping and sharing a single bathroom with three guys.

Post # 51
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I would be really annoyed about this too, especially the part about making my wishes known and them agreeing only to disregard them later. That would bother me a lot. However, I don’t think that two nights in a studio is a big enough deal to make a huge fuss about it — you’re going on a weeklong trip with these people, and it’d be really awkward for everyone if you got angry and booked your own room and made them pay for the studio by themselves. I don’t think that two nights with other people is uncomfortable enough to warrant potentially ruining the trip for everyone, including yourself. So if this was me, I would rant and rave about it to my SO and complain to my other friends about it, but then I’d suck it up and put on a happy face and deal with it for 2 nights before hopefully having a private room the last 4 nights, just for the sake of harmony in the group and not wanting to make this my hill to die on. 

Maybe I’m a pushover, or maybe I just prefer peace to privacy. I’d completely understand if you were uncomfortable enough with the idea that you wanted to book your own space, but I’d really think about what the implications of those actions are — would the boyfriend’s brother and friend hold a grudge against you or have a really negative impression of you for a while? Does that matter/would that bother you? I guess in the end, that kind of thing would win out for me, but if it wouldn’t for you that’s fine as long as you’ve considered all sides.

I hope it’s still a fun trip and that you’re so busy out doing awesome things that you barely spend any time in the studio and it’s almost a non-issue anyway 🙂 

Post # 52
Member
2400 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

She can do whatever she wants. But if I were going on a trip like this & one of the four of us was insisting on lodgings that were more expensive than I was prepared to pay & the 2 other travelers were in agreement NOT to incur the added expense… yeah, I’d hold a grudge. I wouldn’t be traveling with that person again & think they’re a prima donna. 

Post # 53
Member
2468 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m surprised at the number of people who wouldn’t mind sharing rooms, even for 2 days.  When SO and I travel, depending on the length of trip, we often wind up booking a suite or a junior suite so we have extra space – it’s really nice to have a 2nd room or alcove/partial room with a sofa and a TV so if one of us wants to read or watch TV or has to do some work, they don’t disturb the other.  (I should mention, we travel enough for work that we have a lot of hotel rewards points so upgrading doesn’t usually have a big financial cost.)  

I just hate sharing rooms with people, unless I’m romantically involved with them.  Even my best friend and I won’t share a room when we travel together, unless it’s a 2 bedroom suite.  

And it’s not cool to book non-refundable accomodations without getting the sign-off from everyone involved, regardless of the cost.  That’s a passive aggressive move.

Post # 54
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

jannigirl :  I think once you’re out of the poor college student phase of life, planning to go on a trip with mixed genders and non-relatives and expecting to share a room is just plain weird. If that’s your thing, fine, but make it completely clear to the other people you’re planning the trip with BEFORE anything is booked. Because it’s not normal. The OP should not have expected that this would be their expectation/demand. Maybe she would have chosen to skip the trip if she’d known earlier that they were planning to pinch pennies to this degree. Again, not normal when you’re all working adults who earn enough to save for a trip. I value quality sleep (not interrupted by the snores of my roommates) and a place to hide out/decompress after a busy day of travel. I’m an introvert so find that even when travelling with my immediate family I need a break and a place to go where I can be alone. Having your own space is not an unreasonable need when travelling!

I keep getting stuck on how weird it is that the brother and his friend are OK with this! I mean, I think about going on a trip with my besties and of course we’re fine sharing a room. Even sharing a bed is alright. But if one of them wanted to bring her boyfriend? Uh, heck no. Separate rooms for sure. I would feel as uncomfortable sharing that space with him as he would with us.

Post # 55
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Honestly a bunch of full grown adults with jobs.. and assuming enough disposable income that they can do this travel sharing one room together is so odd to me. I don’t get why at 33 your boyfriend would ever want to share a room with his brother and friend? 

A lot of friends at our wedding will be between my age and my Fiance (26-33) and so far no one wants to even share a room they will have literally to get ready and sleep in because they are adults and at a certain range you stop trying to have an awkward situation with couples/people of opposite sex to save 20 bucks.

I would not be comfortable at all sharing a tiny closet of a hotel room with 3 full grown men, it would be so annoying to always change in bathroom, probably sleep in sweats and a bra and just generally do getting ready etc routines.

Don’t think you are out of line at all, ESPECIALLY when cost difference is minimal. Book the rest of trip with you and your Boyfriend or Best Friend, also your Boyfriend or Best Friend needs to grow up.

Post # 56
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

#firstworldproblems 

if you want your own room so bad you should pay the difference for everyone, since this is something no one else desires and others have expressed they want to save money. 

IMO you sound a bit bratty about this. I wouldn’t want to go anywhere with you. 

Post # 57
Member
2099 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Nope. If we had jointly decided on a house with separate bedrooms and then the friend booked a studio without discussing it with me, I would either pull out of the trip or get my own hotel room. They don’t get to walk all over you and then act like you’re the one being the bitch. No way would I put up with that and I would expect my Boyfriend or Best Friend to back me up 100%. There would be no question of sharing a studio with my BF’s friends. They need to grow up.

Post # 58
Member
8251 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

happyowlbee :  +1000. The guys are still able to book accomodations that fit their budget, but that doesn’t mean she needs to stay with them! If they are unable to find accomodations that they can afford without OP subsidizing the cost of the room then they can’t afford this vacation which is not her fault OR her problem.

Post # 59
Member
4258 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

Just book your own place.  I would not stay in a room with 3 guys unless they were really good friends of mine, not my BFs brother and his random friend.  Your Boyfriend or Best Friend will prob come and stay with you, but even if he didn’t for some reason, you will have the privacy you want and be able to sleep well without the sounds of others.

Post # 60
Member
2400 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

CakeSniffer :  I’m a 42 year old professional. I wouldn’t demand separate accommodations when going on a group trip such as this in which they decided to share costs for lodging. Which is why I would never have gone the whole rent an apartment thing… I would have gotten my own room in a hotel from the get-go. When you’re sharing costs, you always have to accommodate the person who has less money/ is more frugal… to not do so is just poor manners.

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