(Closed) So annoyed at fiance being so unorganised

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
368 posts
Helper bee

I can see why you’d be stressed out during the event – and I would probably snap at him, too, in your situation – but from what you’ve written here, it sounds like this was a one-time thing. 

My Boyfriend or Best Friend is probably the most dependable person I know. His only bad habit is that he NEVER manages to be ready on time when he’s leaving for an overnight trip! He is on time or early for work, school, day trips, or meeting friends – but somehow, he never manages to allot enough time to get ready, pack, and eat a meal before he has to hit the road. So I definitely relate to your frustration – it’s so irritating when you are counting on someone to do something, and they don’t follow through! I got really pissed recently when he left late to come visit my parents; I kept thinking, “He’s on time for work every day! How hard is it to be on time for a visit?”

However, I try to remind myself that if this is his only bad habit, I’m pretty lucky. He’s very reliable and considerate in all other areas of life – personal and professional – so I don’t think the fact that he consistently underestimates how long it takes to shower, shave, iron a few shirts, and pack a bag as an indication that he doesn’t care about inconveniencing others. I just try to do what I can to make sure he leaves on time when I can help it, and tease him about it when I can’t.

There are plenty of people out there who habitually inconvenience others because they don’t plan ahead or follow through on their promises, but it doesn’t sound like he’s one of those people – just a person who messed up once. (Hell, he’s doing better than my Boyfriend or Best Friend already!) If your man is otherwise dependable and trustworthy, then one bad day doesn’t mean he isn’t responsible or won’t help you plan the wedding. If he hasn’t already apologized to you for the mistake, then it might help you feel better to talk through your feelings with him, so that you can tell him your expectations for helping with wedding planning, and he can reassure you that he doesn’t intend to make it a habit.

FWIW, I’ve gotten lost with printed directions and my smartphone in hand, even though I try to be early almost everywhere I go… You might want to make sure he isn’t in charge of driving himself anywhere important on the day of the wedding, though. I know my Boyfriend or Best Friend definitely won’t be allowed to set his own schedule for gettinf dressed, ready, and to the venue on time… 😛

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