(Closed) So annoyed with FI (vent)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

 I wonder if a lot of what he’s doing is just him taking out his emotions on you. That sucks! Maybe pick two that you like and basically say “it’s this one or this one which do you like more? And neither is not an option.”

Post # 4
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

what part of NY are you looking to get married in?

Post # 6
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Talk to him and let him know that if he doesnt like your suggestions he has to come up with some suggestions of his own

Post # 7
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

That sounds so frustrating! On one hand you want to make sure he’s happy, but on the other he’s being unreasonable if he is just shooting all your suggestions down while not contributing anything. 

I would ask him to please go find a few venues he is interested in. If he does not, I would pick a few of the options you’ve figured out and ask him to pick one and that’s that.

Post # 8
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

He may be feeling uncomfortable about getting married–celebrating–after his father’s death and instead of dealing with those emotions he’s taking it out on your venue. As pp have mentioned, you need to talk with him.

Post # 10
7 posts
  • Wedding: January 2011

The perfect venue wouldn’t mean anything if significant people in your life weren’t going to be in presence; maybe that’s why he keeps turning down your suggestions for churches and venues. Losing his dad is a significant loss and great deal of sorrow. In your fiance’s eyes, his dad is the best source of advice and example of how to be a good husband and father and he’s not going to be there to give your fiance advice at a significant point in his life.  Engaged to be married is a big transition, adjusting to life after the death of a loved one is a big transition too. Be patient with him and his family as there is no set timetable for grief. Take a break from the planning during the holidays and let him talk about his dad, reflect on his life, be sure to tell him nice memories you had of his dad if you’ve met him.  New Year’s is in a little over a week, so can you put off planning for a week or so?          

Post # 11
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I say you give him a list of 5 or 6 places and tell him he has to pick one or you are going to do it yourself. You need to let him know that shit gets booked fast. September and October are starting to become popular wedding months. My venue is basically booked every weekend until Oct. 2012. Don’t give him a chance to shut the venue down. 

Post # 12
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Sorry to hear that.  Trust me, it will all come together in the end.  For now, keep busy working on the things you can control – like asking at the NY bees for ideas on venues.  Give him a week or so without discussing the topic, then go back to him with new ideas.

Post # 13
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Maybe give him a choice of 3 venues and say “If you don’t like any of these, then you’re going to have to come up with something on your own because nothing I give you is satisfactory.” 

Maybe putting it in his lap is the only way you can get it done?

Post # 15
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

As a JoP wedding gal myself, it’s not a bad decision!

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