(Closed) So… ANNOYING

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@Bwed2012:  Ugh, I feel your pain, girl! I make more than my Darling Husband at the moment too (which is fairly new for both of us) He quit his job to follow me because my job relocated us. So I take it like it’s more of my fault he’s not bringing anything in at the moment, hopefully that will change soon. But anyways…

I don’t see anything wrong with you getting a dress for a special occasion if you guys have no problems paying your bills. If everything else is taken care of, I don’t see anything wrong with it at all. Is there a reason he is like this? Has he always been this way? My Darling Husband is just money cautious, always has been. However, when I spend money I do it rightfully so-like I deserve it. I’d just tell him flat out “listen, we are not broke, our bills are paid, this is a special occasion, I deserve this. You’re making it a bigger deal than it needs to be. Drop it.”

Post # 4
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

The day I ask Mr. 99’s permission to buy anything when we’ve got our bills paid and both cars are running, the cat’s eyes will spin!  I’d buy it, hang it up in the closet with the tags still on and be like, “Look honey…IT WAS IN THE CLOSET…”

Post # 5
2163 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

While I intend to combine assets and such with Fiance when we’re married, neither of us feel we need “permission” to buy anything unless it’s something expensive (~$500 or more?)….I too shop a lot, and I also make more $$ than Fiance. He’d never tell me “check my closet” if he knew I really wanted a new dress. I buy a new NYE dress every year because we’re usually with the same friends and I LOVE NYE! I think I’d just buy a dress and then tell him after the fact. That’s a little ridic, IMO, to give you crap about a $40 NYE dress. PS I just got mine from Macy’s and love it:

Post # 7
717 posts
Busy bee

That is really not a lot for a dress and you love it so buy it.  And if he asks, explain how much you love it and what a great deal it is.  If household expenses are covered and you’re buying this for yourself, it’s not affecting him and he doesn’t really have a say.  it’s not like you’re splurging your rent money on a designer purse or something.

Post # 8
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I can’t imagine having to ask if I could buy a dress. You’re clearly a responsible adult who doesn’t have some insane shopping habit and you aren’t struggling financially.. so I see no reason to not get the dress. You clearly have a job, meaning you should get to spend some of the money you earn!

Post # 9
8394 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

$40 is a ridiculous amount to get upset over IMO…I’d buy it in a heartbeat lol. Darling Husband and I don’t even discuss purchases like that unless they’re over $100 or so, as long as the rest of the finances are in order.

Post # 10
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

In all fairness….I see a lot of women who make less do the same thing.

Trying to control his spending habits that is.

Post # 11
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

And this is why I have kept my own checking account. We have a joint account and we each have our own account also. So if I want to buy something for myself I use my own account, this way Darling Husband can’t complain

Post # 12
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

If you have a serious shopping problstrand your space is serverly limited I can see want he wouldn’t want you to buy anything. It’s forty bucks and its a dress- can you wear it agian? 

I never ask about purchases under 100$ but whenever I do go shopping I usually spend 500$ and do a fashion show and sometimes he vetoes items. 


Post # 13
504 posts
Busy bee

I don’t remember even having to ask if I could buy something. Ever. We do discuss purchases over $200 with eachother before we make them but that’s about it.

Post # 14
2556 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Girl, go ahead and buy that dress!  My Fiance and I combine some our our finances (our expenses, food, other joint bills & our savings accounts & vacation account), but everything else is open.  I’m so glad that’s where we are, because I would resent him if I was in this situation.  🙁

Post # 16
3776 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

@Bwed2012:  I don’t see why it even matters who makes more money.  I am a Stay-At-Home Mom, so I make 0 and I don’t ask to buy things.  If I want it and we have the money, I buy it.  He is being ridiculous.

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