Post # 1
This is a bit pathetic but here goes. I got married in May and had a wonderful day. But ever since we got our photos back, I’ve become completely consumed by regret over the way I looked on the day. I don’t usually wear makeup, and my husband always says that he likes the “real” me, so I didn’t wear any on the day. Now I can’t believe how utterly hideous I look in the photos. On the day I barely thought about how I looked- I was too focused on the commitment I was making, and on the thrill of being with all the people I cared about- but now I can’t bare the idea that they all saw me like that, and it’s not as though I can rationalise that no-one was paying attention to me because they obviously were. And it’s not just that I look ugly, I look sallow and exhausted, even though everyone says I looked glowing with happiness. We spent a lot of money on photos because I thought that after the wedding was over, we would have the photos to look at forever and relive all that joy again. And now I’m too ashamed to look at them, let alone hang them on the wall. I feel as though it’s ruining all the memories, to the extent that I almost wish we’d never had a wedding because I can’t cope with this regret. I know I need to get some perspective and focus on being married but the thing is, I’m now dealing with a serious medical condition and it’s actually making me regret it even more, because I feel like now I truly have missed my chance to look my best. How do I get over this?
Post # 2
We’re our own worst critic, so I bet you looked beautiful 🙂 would you feel comfortable posting an example for us to see?
Post # 3
It’s not pathetic at all. We can absolutely be far more critical of our own flaws than everyone else. Maybe don’t look at your pictures for a while, and when you next see them you will be kinder to yourself. You were a happy, glowing bride on your wedding day and it sounds like that’s the lady your husband and guests will remember.
Post # 4
Aside from your wedding pictures, do you feel like you look pretty in other pictures? Are you happy with your appearance on a normal day to day basis? I hope you are able to feel beautiful and know that you are and that looking at your wedding pictures brings you happiness one of these days soon 🙂
Post # 5
I am sure you glowed just like your friends said, but you have a right to love your photos. Have someone professionally retouch them so that you can see yourself the way everyone else saw you. Then hang them on your wall so you can remember the joy of the moment, not worry about dark circles or whatever else!
Post # 6
I’m so sorry you feel this way. I get where you’re coming from. I was shocked when I got our engagement photos back because I look so heavy in many of them compared to how I normally look (I guess in my case the camera adds 20 lbs instead of 10), and I felt like my least favorite features were front and center.
I was able to find five not-horrible photos from the set and use those for our save the dates and wedding website. Even those five had things about them that I hated, so I shopped them. Best $10/month I have ever spent. I wouldn’t go too crazy with the photoshop if I were you (assuming that you, like me, are an amateur), but it can be really helpful for things like brightening dark circles and maybe adding a hint of color in your cheeks if you think you look pale or sallow. Maybe a couple of tiny, subtle tweaks could help you at least not hate a few of your pics.
Post # 7
I agree with the other ladies who suggested photoshop. Color and tone correction can really improve sallow tones and add vibrancy! Photoshop is amazing. Ask your photog if they can do some touch-ups, since you say you paid a lot.
That being said, I don’t undersrand why some bees would go to their own wedding without any makeup. I regularly go barefaced day to day as well, but to be honest it’s out of laziness and lack of time and it’s not a good habit. But my once in a lifetime day? I got a make up artist! Unless one has amazing skin (either genetically or a rigorous skincare routine) even light/nude makeup can give the natural look without all the imperfections.
Post # 8
Oh I’m sorry, that’s got to suck. Don’t forget one important detail, though… you made your husband’s experience of the day that much better by coming as the woman he fell in love with.
Post # 9
I’m sorry to hear about your medical issue. You stayed true to you on your day. You could just as easily be writing this post syaing “I hired a make-up artist and I feel like I wore a mask all day and I’m not *me* in the pictures”. Between the two you made the right choice
Post # 10
postnuptialdespair: Sorry. but yeah, it’s not that you didn’t look beautiful without makeup IRL, it’s that the camera needs makeup. Hell, sometimes I even add “makeup” to photos of me when I am wearing makeup and it dosn’t look like I am. I wonder if you told your photog you were going without makup. If I were to take pics I’d def urge people to wear makeup.
However, makeup and flaws can be easily edited. If you want, you can send me a pic to edit.
Post # 11
postnuptialdespair: I have never in my life (or at least since I hit my teens!) had a photo taken without make up on that I ended up liking. I’m pretty pale with dark undereye circles, so I tend to look super tired and worn out without a little help from my make-up drawer.
That said, I often still feel pretty and natural and comfortable completely bare faced in person. There’s just something about being on film that highlights every imperfection and makes me look like a blotchy potato. It’s brutal.
Anyway, my point is that I’m really sorry that you don’t like your photos (that sucks) but I bet you looked like your normal gorgeous self in person to all your guests. Please don’t waste anymore time, energy, or happiness worrying about that because I guarantee you it was not an issue.
Given the choice, I’d much rather look my best in person and then have to get the photos touched up a little to enjoy them more then have it the other way round. Try and take a step back and be kind to yourself – I suspect you are being waaaaaaay too harsh about this.
Post # 12
postnuptialdespair: Oh girl, the camera lies. Like. A. Dog. I bet you looked gorgeous on your wedding day but you can look phenomenal and have a photo taken that looks like death warmed over, it isn’t an accurate representation of how you looked. For example, I had engagement photos done, I hadn’t had my hair color done for a little while but the mirror told me the color blended fine and you couldn’t tell. Well the e-photos had to be changed to black and white because of the intense Cruella DeVille-esque line of demarcation between the two very distinct colors on my head. Camera was lying. It likes to do that.
BLACK AND WHITE! I can’t believe I didn’t think of it right away, B&W is like photoshop without any skill level or expensive program. You know how everyone always looks better when you’re wearing sunglasses? Take a wedding photo and change it to B&W, you don’t need fancy photo-editing software to do that, see how much more you like it. B&W is classy and elegant, looks awesome printed, and hides all manner of imperfection.
Post # 13
I’d definitely book a photo shoot for you and your husband in your wedding outfits and book a MUA or a session at a makeup counter first.
Post # 14
postnuptialdespair: I think it is lovely you stayed true to yourself and embraced what your husband loves about you and were natural. I am sure you are just being overly harsh on yourself (as we all have the tendancy to do!) and I am sure you looked stunning.
A bride’s happiness radiating from her is going to be way more noticable than a lack of make up!
Post # 15
- Wedding: May 2016 - Magnolia House
postnuptialdespair: I never wear makeup and my fiance always says how beautiful I am to him. I am sure yours thinks the same thing. I know I am very critical of myself so I am sure you are too. Plus the camera doesn’t always look like we look in real life. I like the PP idea of changing them to black and white or ask your photographer to filter them a little.
On the rare occasions I do wear makeup people always ask where I am going so it is obvious to them, my point is that you looked like you. You look like how people expected you to look and everyone loves you for you.
I hope you begin to feel better about it soon. I hate that you are disappointed.