(Closed) So awkward! Unvited person asked me where I’m registered at

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow that is awkward.  I’m trying to think of how to get out of telling her but all I can think of is just defer the questions and not answer!

Post # 4
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We are in the same situation only people are telling us how excited they are for the wedding and can’t wait to come and telling us that it is already on their calendar, but they aren’t going to be invited!  What DO you say?!

Post # 5
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

if she knows she isn’t invited and still wants to know, just tell her! some people realize the difficulties of the guest list but maybe she still wants to show her support.

Post # 6
Member
2476 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would just be gracious and answer her question.  There’s no reason to bring up the fact that she’s not invited.  It’s her choice whether to get you a gift or not… maybe she’s just curious… maybe she will actually purchase something for you.  You never know. 

Post # 8
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

well it seems you may be exactly what your user name suggest! no need to worry! 🙂 i’m sure she knows she is not invited!

Post # 9
Member
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This happened to me at work the other day. Not only was this person not invited but I can’t stand her. I also told her where we are registered because I didn’t want it to get any weirder

Post # 10
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I don’t see a problem with people asking. I purchase gifts for people all the time. It doesn’t matter if I am invited or not. In some circles, it is just the polite thing to do.

Post # 11
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

This happened to me with a friend I was close with in high school, but hadn’t really spoken to or seen in 9 years until last September, when we were at the same function and she found out I was engaged.  She said that she was so excited and couldn’t wait.  I ended up inviting her.  She can’t come to the wedding, but we have gotten together more often and she just bought me the most generous and beautiful gift (4 Waterford goblets in my pattern).  We are actually starting to becoming close again, which has been wonderful.  She has had some terrible things happen in the past 9 years, deaths in the immediate family, becoming the legal guardian of her niece who is only 9 years younger than her, putting her through private school and now college, that I can understand why she pulled away.

Originally, I felt the same way as the OP about inviting her.  I am so glad I did.  It has been wonderful getting to know her again.

In any other instance, where it’s a total random person, I would address it at the time because they may take it as very rude if they buy you a gift and then they don’t receive an invitation when you had the opportunity to tell them that they weren’t invitied (we are having a very small wedding, etc).  Granted, the other person is in the wrong clearly, but I think it’s best to just be honest from the get go if you don’t plan on inviting them.

 

 

Post # 12
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think this is a possibility.  It’s fairly common in my office that people throw in 5-10 bucks regardless of whether they’re invited to a wedding and get a gift from teh office.  Intern=doing all the jobs nobody wants to do.  Somebody probably put her in charge of getting the group gift from your office mates!  Maybe???

Post # 13
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Just say, “Oh thanks for asking, but we haven’t thought about that yet,” or “we haven’t registered because we are having a very small wedding.”

The topic ‘So awkward! Unvited person asked me where I’m registered at’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors