(Closed) SO bought a house…is the ring coming soon or going to be pushed back? Anxiety!

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I think the whole “feeling pressured” is a huge lame excuse guys like to give us.  Being on the same page is very important for the relationship and setting expectations is important too.  You don’t want to go 5 or 6 years down the road and find out he doesn’t want to get married.  Everyone’s timelines are different. 

I wasted 5 years on a guy and it didn’t work out, some of my best and better looking years.  lol.  I had to put pressure on this guy (3 years and we own our second home)… but when I put the pressure on, he was OK and gave me the big proposal and wedding coming up.  He wanted it too, but getting hitched is just not on the top of his to do list (which I understand, it’s not like they dream of the day the entire lives).  I think if you feel ready and you believe he’s the one, put some pressure on to find out where he is at.  Don’t let me blow you off or give you some lame excuse.  Time is the most precious thing we have and it shouldn’t be wasted.

Post # 3
Member
1601 posts
Bumble bee

I guess I’m somewhat confused. If he plans to propose soon, why wouldn’t he wait on you to buy property? Did it make more sense financially? 

My SO and I don’t plan to buy property until we are married so we can pool assets and pick a home to raise kids in, so I’m a little confused by him buying a house without you. 

Post # 4
Member
2859 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

If this is the person you want to marry, you should be able to sit down and have a conversation with him about this! Tell him exactly what you said here. It sounds like you want an engagement, but you’re ok to have it a long engagement and get married in a couple of years. How is he going to know your wishes if you don’t tell him directly? Don’t nag, hint, beat around the bush–just tell him. 

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