Post # 1
I thought I had a best friend. When she lost her mother I knew how bad she was grieving and made arrangements brought her clothes. Had my daughters at her disposal for anything she needed to have done from watching her daughter, taking her oldest daughter to get her hair done, to being there for her emotionally. When I lost my grandmother she only called I didnt say anything but it still hurt me.
She had a child at 42 and I understand our lives have changed as we both have grown children. Long story short we havent been communicating because her daughter is 5 and she is going through the parenting phase again school, bath, dinner, going to the park, etc. I dont hear from her until she has problems and need advice which I have always freely given but if and when I have a problem she has to call me back or it is a 5 min phone call.
She has no idea what I am dealing with having a Fiance in Afghainstan but she is so negative I cant discuss my feelings with her. I have limited my time with her on the phone because it is when she needs something.
What should I do???
Post # 3
I really feel like I have a relationship like this with my BFF only I am the unavailable one. After being pregnant, becoming a single mom, going back to school, getiing in a relaionship with my Darling Husband who was deployed for a year, planing a wedding etc., she was always there for me. I was talking to her one day and she mentioned that we never get to just hang out anymore, that I was always studying etc. Since then, I make it a point to make time to spend with her…going for breakfast, lunch, shopping etc. at least once a week. Of course, there are times that it is impossible, but she is understanding, and we have a catch up convo in we can’t physically get together.
I suggest you just tell your friend that you miss qulity time with her. that you know she is busy but you really want to get together for a cup of coffee or something just to catch up. Hopefully she will come around for you.
Post # 4
I had a friend like this. She’s unbelievably selfish. We didn’t have many conversations about it because I knew she would not change. We have drifted apart but amicably so. I think that’s usually best so as not to have some big blowout and hate each other.
On the other hand, I’ve been the unavailable person in a friendship before, and I really didn’t realize it until it was too late and we too had drifted apart. I think whether or not you try and make amends depends on your overall friendship and your instinct, because there’s no way any of us could give advice based on such a small amount of information. If you think she’s oblivious to the way she treats you, then a conversation may be in order. If you think she is just not a good friend, I wouldn’t waste my time.
Post # 5
Honestly, tell her how you feel. Remember that there probably is a reason. If having there for support is something you really want and need, let her know that. Maybe she doesn’t understand that? I for one, HATE talking on the phone but if someone told me that they really appreciate talking and help from me, I would put in the effort to give them that time. I think it may be rude on your part to just blow her off without actually at least letting her know how you feel. Put in the effort. If she still is the same, then tell her it’s time to find another support system. Keep it positive though 🙂