- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
Let me start by saying that my husband and I are already married. We married at city hall in September.
Our plan was always to have 2 weddings, one in upstate New York, my hometown, and the other in Turkey, his native country.
We have a very generous budget set aside for our NY wedding from my parents, as well as a venue — their house/estate (think backyard wedding at a victorian farmhouse). We have *no* money for our Turkish wedding, other than whatever we’re able to save from now until then (likely a little over a year from now), a possible contribution from my parents depending on how much of our budget we spend on the NY wedding, and how much we’re comfortable asking for/taking from them, and likely nothing from his parents. His parents don’t have any money to offer, ever. And I’m ok with that…. However, Turkish weddings traditionally have hundreds of people in attendance.
Neither of us is really willing to give up a wedding in our home country. I *definitely* want to have the experience of planning a wedding. I have tons of ideas spinning around in my head, a beautiful, sentimental, meaningful, and cost effective venue, and a budget to back it up. (Planning the wedding in Turkey will be mostly up to his mom and sister, and himself. They’re local, they know Turkish customs and traditions, etc.) In Turkey, the son’s wedding is a big deal, he’s giving up a lot of his culture and lifestyle for us to be together (relocation to USA, etc.) and he should be able to have a Turkish wedding as well.
Part of me feels like just saying forget it. No weddings. Use the money to buy all the the things we would have registered for and start our life.
Or maybe a better solution is to have a small party here (that I get to plan!!), and the big party there. Whoever can make it, great. But how do we keep the small party from turning into a full blown wedding?
Then comes the fact that we *really* want to move clear across the country. And buy a house. And have a family. And open a school. And. And. And. We could definitely use tens of thousands of dollars to do any of those things too. 🙂
How do you all balance the cost of a wedding with your future plans? Everyone getting married is starting a new life together…..
Not really expecting an answer to my problem, just looking to share my thoughts, and hear others’… to “talk it out”.