(Closed) So Conflicted/Confused/Upset

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
31 posts
  • Wedding: June 2014

@brittarose:  Hi….first I m sorry u r going thru so much at a time that’s supposed to be your happiest…but you are not alone. Most of us are thru the same thing.  I got engaged last month and the first words out of  my parents mouth was,  no holidays!! 

 My Fiance are paying for the  wedding  and looking for a house so I can sympathize.  We are waiting to get married in 2014 to have enough time to save $$$.   Our wedding budget is no more than $5000 

I do agree that having a place to live is very very important and should be a priority.  


If having certain people at your wedding is important  then you may have to compromise.  


If I were you I would do a small wedding so that you can have the best of both worlds.  


But in the end…it’s your day ….take your time and the right decision will come to you.  Write on a piece of paper the pros and cons of each choice…it may help. 

 I dont think pushing up the wedding date is going to help. 

You could always do a civil ceremony and then a reception at a small restaurant. 

Hope this helps…

Post # 4
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You’re setting a date that is 3 months away.  You can’t expect everyone to be able to drop everything and attend.  If you want a NYE wedding, why not do next year?  What is the rush???

Post # 6
31 posts
  • Wedding: June 2014

@brittarose:  Venting def helps… I think your parents will be fine in time.  Sometimes parents are not as supportive as we thought they would be.  But I m sure they will attend your special day. 😉

Post # 7
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

i can understand your mum not wanting it on their wedding anniversary – 20 years is a long time and they probably want to do something special. id assume that wouldnt seem so much as commemorating it as hijacking it. (no offence, but it seems that way to me)

your Bridesmaid or Best Man has made a committment and it would be wrong of her to back out. 3 months is very short notice. i get that you dont want to wait, but you need to be prepared that people have planned events in advance, particularly on new years eve.

why not march? gives you 6 months to get things together

Post # 9
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

3.5 months is a really short amount of time to plan a wedding.  I think your dad is right, you should probably find somewhere to live before the wedding.  The reason you’re running into scheduling conflicts is because people plan big events often 6 months- a year in advance.


 It will make things easier on you to move things back.  Venues are going to charge more to rent on New Years Eve because of the high demand.  You’re also going to run into the problem of vendors being booked, not being able to order a dress without paying huge rush fees, and even then you’ll have to order one like RIGHT NOW.  I don’t see what the rush is, but maybe I’m missing something.


Like someone else mentioned if there’s a big hurry to get married you could always go to the courthouse and go to a restaurant.  

Post # 10
1715 posts
Bumble bee

It doesnt sound so “easy and fun” given what you posted above.

Post # 12
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@brittarose:  maybe by pushing the wedding date back a few months it will ease some of the problems. I didnt want to push mine back but did early on in the planning stage by 6 months and now I am pleased I did as the original date is only a few weeks away and I am no where near ready :-).  You cant please everybody but at least giving people time to save/take time off etc it would help.  Good luck. 

Post # 13
9757 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

i agree with PPs, the amount of time you have had and will have to plan this wedding is VERY short, and your friend probably has already received her invite to her cousin’s wedding, and possibly has RSVP’d. It would be rude of her to back out to attend your wedding when her cousin set the date first. If you have more time you will find more people can attend 🙂 best of luck!

Post # 14
7642 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

For me, having one of my best friends there is more important than a particular date like new years eve. You said Dec 29 is possible, so why not? You’re just moving it a couple of days so one of your best friends can be there.

Besides, NYE might be a little awkward in the future, in the sense that I always like a romantic anniversary just with my husband. So if you wanted to do that, you’d have to miss NYE parties.

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