(Closed) HELP! So confused! Family is driving us crazy :-(

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Where should we have our wedding?
    Panama : (9 votes)
    50 %
    Where Grandma lives : (7 votes)
    39 %
    Other option we've missed :-) : (2 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 4
    Member
    3885 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Only you can decide how important it is to have Granny there to witness your wedding,  but I’d say with almost a year before your date and with Granny already at 90 years old, if it’s important to you that she be there, then you should absolutely not have a destination wedding. Travelling is a challenge for even the most able-bodied person, and it’s exhausting, overwhelming and intimidating for a lady of her age. 

    But it should make for a fairly easy choice. You can have Granny at your wedding, or you can have a wedding in Panama, but you can’t have both. Just pick which one you want more.

    Post # 5
    Member
    8088 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @fishbone:  Exactly. OP, which is more important? She told Future Mother-In-Law she can’t come to the Destination Wedding, so if you have the Destination Wedding, you know in advance that Grandma won’t be there. She is being reasonable and polite to tell you not to plan around her, but if it’s important to you that she be there… she already said she can’t travel. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    771 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @ImaStarr:  If it’s really important to you and your Fiance to have his grandmother witness your wedding, then I would reconsider the Destination Wedding.  Even though you say nothing has changed with her health status, travelling is a lot for a 90 year old.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1562 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    Since Granny said to not plan the wedding around her, I would go ahead with the plans for Panama.  She may be able to go, but as JemmaWRX said, she is old, and traveling may be tough.  But, you can always use the power of technology – skype her in, or videotape and send a relative or friend who is staying home the link or file, and have them show Granny.    

    Post # 8
    Member
    9916 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We planned our wedding so my grandfather could come.  Down to the venue couldn’t be too far from his house!  But…I have known for years that my grandfather cannot travel very far.  

    I think you should have the wedding where your grandmother can attend.  At 90, you don’t know what could happen tomorrow.  Not to scare you, at all, because every person is different, but my grandfather started having bladder issues (AWESOME!) on his 91st birthday, and then right before he turned 92 he fell, and my mom told me to come home just in case (sad face!)…but instead he rallied and can walk pretty well again.  He’s 93 and will be 94 in April.  But the bladder thing means he can’t travel on planes or for long car rides.  When our bodies get old, they just…get old.  You can’t predict what or how things will happen, but you should prepare for the fact that something could happen.  

    Post # 9
    Member
    4046 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Why not have it where grandma lives, then go on a honeymoon to Panama?

    Post # 10
    Member
    505 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    Do you have an option of where you can live stream it for her?  FaceTime or something like that?  Or have it close to home for a destination wedding & thn hop over to panama fholy our honeymoon?  We were going to live stream ours for my husbands cousin who couldn’t make it but something happened to her computer right before we left so we didn’t end uit doing it. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    909 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    This is a hard situation. But if it is really that important for her to be there, I would suggest not having the Destination Wedding. Sometimes you just have to compromise.

    My Fiance grandmother is from out of the country. My Future Sister-In-Law had already planned her wedding date for July 5 and we were told that his grandmother and the rest of the family out of the country would not come back for a 2nd wedding next year and who knows what would happen if we waited longer than that (his grandfather died last year and grandmother is not in the best of health, though she isn’t sick either, just very frail) Anyway, we ended up changing out intended date from august to 2 weeks after Future Sister-In-Law in july that way his grandmother could be there (they will stay in the US for the 2 weeks in between while Future Sister-In-Law is on honeymoon).

    Hope everything works out for you.

     

     

     

     

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