(Closed) So confused!!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

It’s really difficult to be able to offer advice without knowing more details around why you’re having doubts, when they started etc. But even then, only you know whether your fears are founded or not.

Having said that, I did have doubts before I agreed to marry my husband. I was never 100% sure. My 86-year-old grandmother said something that really helped, she said you’re really never 100% sure, even after you marry there will be times when you will “wonder”. Maybe some people have not had any doubts ever, but it certainly applied to me. I faced my fears (I’m always SO undecisive), married him, and I could not be happier. My husband is the most wonderful man in the world and I cannot imagine being happier with anyone else!

So yes, it is possible to have fears, face them and not look back!! But only you will know whether this would be your case or not.

Post # 5
Member
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

You wrote that you feel anxious about making commitments in your life. Do you think you need to talk to someone (professional) about that?

You aren’t your mother and he is not your father. There is nothing saying that your relationship will mirror theirs…unless you choose to follow their lead.

Post # 6
Member
2273 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I had doubts before I got married. But then I realised I wasn’t perfect and I can’t expect anyone to be perfect for me. How I got thru it was thinking can I see myself 1) growing old with this guy and 2) having babies with this guy? When I realised my answer to these questions was 100% YES – I had no qualms at all on the day walking down that aisle.

I get the issue with making decisions too I used to be like that, a worrier! After a bout of depression in my early/mid-20s I went and saw a psych and she helped me deal with a lot of these issues – talking to someone will really help ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

OP I can really relate!!!

Do you mind if I ask, are you normally insecure about yourself? I ask because I know I am, and this makes me feel insecure about my choices as well (i.e. am I marrying the right person, is he good enough?). So I’ve also worried about how others view my Darling Husband, but deep down this came from my own insecurities!

 

Post # 11
Member
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

@esplanfreedom:  I encourage you to go to a psychologist. What you wrote in post #7 is not normal. Talking it out on the bee probably won’t end that feeling.

The topic ‘So confused!!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors