Post # 1
I didn’t know where else to post this but here goes:
I’m doing the online dating thing and I have been chatting to this one guy who wanted to meet up. So I said sure and suggested we meet for coffee (I had already made plans for the rest of the day/evening).
The guy got really angry, that I suggested meeting for coffee, apparently it wasn’t “serious” enough for him. I just thought it would be a relaxed place to meet up, I honestly never thought he would get so offended!
Bees was I wrong to suggest this? I am a worried that I am so out of tune with the dating scene, is a coffee date no longer acceptable these days?
Sorry for posting this to the Relationship board, wasn’t sure where to post this!
Post # 2
No, he’s an arsehole. If he’s acting like this now, imagine how it would be later!
Post # 3
agree with PP, this guy seems like a jerk he had no reason to get angry at all. I wouldn’t waste my time talking to him anymore.
Post # 4
Screw him. Coffee is perfectly normal. His attitude is not a good way to start dating.
Post # 5
I would actually be kind of freaked out if he reacted like that. I mean, already with online dating you have that element of uncertainty about who you’re really meeting. Objecting to going for coffee because it’s not “serious enough” would be a red flag for me. Be careful!
Post # 6
Jeez, most people wait a while before they show off their anger issues. Dodge that bullet!
Post # 7
Totally agree. Coffee is the standard first date (I work in the online dating industry and have been there myself). A coffee or a quick drink in a busy place is what I would ways recommend. It gives you the option of just having a quick one and leaving, or enjoying a long afternoon in a cafe if you hit it off.
Definitely avoid this man – what do you have to do to prove you’re serious? if it’s committing to a whole day where you could potentially be alone with him, he spells trouble.
Post # 9
Wow! What a strange reaction! A coffee/drink is definitely a first date activity!! Easy to cut short if not going well, and easy to lengthen if having a great time. I don’t think I’d keep talking to him or meet him- seems like this outburst is a major red flag!
Post # 10
Thanks Bees, I probably shoud have mentioned that I’m absolutely not going to be talking to him anymore. The reaction was just really strange and over the top. Definately dodged a bullet!
Post # 11
Wow, what an overreaction on his part! I agree with the others, it’s a little screwed up and scary. I’m glad to read you’re done with him. I wonder if he was offended because he thought you had another date later that night with another guy since you didn’t commit to more than coffee. Who knows? Good riddance! As far as I know, coffee dates are perfectly acceptable ways to meet up with a potentially crazy guy from the internet.
Post # 12
I think meeting up for coffee is fine. Be careful, hope he wasn’t expecting anything else. I had a friend that was on a couple of dating sites and the guys she would go out with in the end just wanted to sleep with her. I’m not saying dating sites are bad, just be careful. You never really know a person until you acutally spend time with them.
Post # 13
Yup. Agree with all the above, coffee is normal, his reaction is not. He sounds like a nutter!
Post # 14
block him. he’s terrifying.